"How did I get here?" he thought as he sat

"How did I get here?" he thought as he sat on the tip of a Trident Nuclear Weapon. It was damn uncomfortable. He looked down and realized just how far down

he'd slid. This wasn't the kind of thing he normally did on a first date, but he was drunk as hell on whatever O'Douls was, and that was all the justification he needed for trying

out his first quilting bee. He was excited about learning how to do Flying Square pieced patterns. He secretly hoped that the instructor would work in the Star of the Alamo and

Crown of Thorns, but there was a reason that this quilting store was called the Honeycomb Hideout. The other quilters incessantly repeated that inane hexagonal pattern, over and

over again. "I feel like a robot' said Pearl. Why is it that we never try something new? All of our quilts look the same and I do not think this is good for business. Why would

anyone buy these? Let's try something different. Lets make quilts out of completely unexpected items." So they started collecting materials to make truly crazy quilts like

electric fans, corkboards, pencil shavings, and potted plants. The first pencil shaving/potted plant quilt sold for $1,200 but you had to keep it well-watered or the vines would

shrink and twist pulling the quilt out of shape and making the pattern almost obscene. These quilts should never be put on a bed or your springs would rust and silk rot. Caninabis

We were definitely going to grow some fine tomatoes considering how high we were at this point.