"I saw a frog outside,and I tried to scare

"I saw a frog outside,and I tried to scare it away,but it hopped towards me and now it's in the kitchen"This wasn't what I had planned when I took this baby sitter job.Kill frogs

but then I should have probably thought twice before taking the au pair job in the suburb of paris. If those kids wanted frog than thats what I was going to cook. I was squeemish

as I anticipated dinner. Would I be forced to digest the reptilian victuals with the others? How I longed for a barbeque, hot sauce and

hush puppies and then wash it down with ice-cold mountain dew. "Fuck Y'all" I said and left the party. I drove straight as a grizzly's dick to the

nearest Sonny's to get the AYCE dry rub rib plate. Jim's car was in the lot, dripping blood. He sat at the front table, his face and hands covered in the Hot and Sweet sauce.

Jim wondered how many ribs he could eat. He wondered if drinking water would help him eat more. He wondered if he'd ever be a competitive eater. He wondered if the blood would ever

return to his zip-tied hands. He wondered why he was thinking about ribs when he was a vegan...maybe because he still missed bac--wait a minute...SHE was responsible! If only

The vegans were restless because their 50 gallon drum of wheatgrass juice was nearly tapped out. He concocted a scheme to pillage a local Whole Foods and made a daring escape

with a whole tin of pork fat. The vegans never knew the difference, and returned to their home planet of Vegania, disgusted by the thought of sharing air and grass with animals.