She pulled at the chains but they were held

She pulled at the chains but they were held fast. She didn't know how long she had been held captive in this dungeon.

Her personal trainer brought bread and water. "I see you've lost two dress sizes all ready." "Please let me out!" she pleaded. "You knew when you signed to 'Gulag Spa' we would

"torture you until you were a ripe orange, once you were we would eat you alive, mwahahahah!!, I do love a good orange"

but the annoying orange wasn't fazed a bit by Saw's ranting. "Hey, why'd they call you 'Saw'? 'cause you like Sodomy? Hehe get it? Saw...Domy hehehe". Saw busted a spleen and

a crosseyed glance back at the orange. It was laying there in a pool of it's own pulp. He thought "what a mess" and shouted out to the butler, "Mr. Barnes, come here this

instant!" As the butler approached, the orange began to speak. "Hey Butler!' What?" "Knife" the maid approached with a kitchen knife, the same maid that he had argued with about

turned out to be Jennifer Lopez. Actaully Millie Bumprick, Ms. Lopez's stand-in because J-Lo had to have the holes in her nose closed. Millie stood right where the camera

guy was supposed to stand. Would Millie ever figure out which end of the camera was which? Originally, J Lo was the stand-in for Millie, but Millie was a little dim-witted, so

she had to help guide J Lo in blocking and her lines. Seriously, you think J Lo is a stage name? She can't even spell her own damn name. And these are the losers you worship.