While normally it is difficult for me to

While normally it is difficult for me to begin writing, today was different. As I approached my keyboard hoping for a new subject, I became aware of a presence all around me.

The lights flickered and then rose to a blinding glow, buzzing ever louder as I put my fingers to the keys. I could see echoes or spirits of the greatest writers, channeling into

And the capper is the words didn't make any sense! I mixed another Stolis. I took a big-foot drag on the cigar. This eulogy will send those old bastards at the American Legion

rushing to their dictionaries. I vowed not to use any words of fewer than three syllables. William F. Buckley would be proud of me if he were still alive. I returned to writing

with the hopes that this work would be the next, "all the presidents men." If only I had my own deep throat. Whispering secrets, exposing the truth. Instead I have had no

idea how to finish my term paper on "urination: the other side of asparagus". I decided to go out back and shoot some hoops instead. There, i found a disgruntled green grocer who

was peeing on a large bunch of asparagus. I asked him why he was doing that. He explained "because my urine smells of asparagus." This insprired he to return to my writing

but when i got there I found my protagonist was gone. Now what? how do you write a story with out a protagonist? I could hire an armature-tagonist, one without urinary imaginings.

Yes, this was flush with possibilities. I sat down at my PC and furiously typed away. Oh, this was my best work yet! Rich and complex, twisting, turning, until it came to: The End.