"Who are you people?" Janice cried, trying

"Who are you people?" Janice cried, trying to fight her captors as they muscled her into the car. Her hands were tied behind her back and her shoulders hurt like hell. The men

remained silent. They blindfolded her and she felt the car lurch forward. "Who are you people?!" She cried again. "Where are you taking me?". She tried to free her hands but the ma

rshmallow handcuffs tightly bound her wrists. Blindfolded she would have to rely on her sense of smell to chew herself free from the moving jellybean car without her captors being

inadvertently gnawed in the process. She chewed her way stealthily through the sugary automobile, as a sticky film of saliva and jelly bean innards began to accumulate on her face.

It was a truly difficult process, but her determination made her disregard all of the gummy entrails that she left behind. Ugh. What a glutinous mess. She wiped off her mouth and

flossed all trace of the gelatinous matter from between her teeth. She then washed her face, but nothing could wash the effects of the sugar from her eyes. They were wild with

ecstasy. She'd never have believed that jello wrestling would be so freeing. To let go all her natural inhibitions, leap into a pit of lime jello, and successfully take down Mr. Im

potent in all his flaccid glory. Mr. Impotent jiggled, much like the green Jell-O surrounding his meaty flesh, as she socked him with a clean knockout blow. "And we have a

our favorite gelatin brand for that story. Just don't eat it a Cosby's house. Mumble mouth all you want but you're not getting away from Fat Albert if Rudy has his way. Which is OK

... only if Rudy actually took his gas control pills, that is. If not, prepare yourself for a gassy demise. You may find yourself wishing you had never been born as you suffocate.