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Monsieur Herault wanted a distinctive fragrance

  • Monsieur Herault wanted a distinctive fragrance all his own so he commissioned Hermes. Little known to M. Herault, the ingredients included poodle musk. On his daily visit to Gardi
  • he wore reversible slacks. it was his way of
  • convincing himself that the slacks were clean. He had cut his dry cleaning bill in half, he was on his way to saving himself rich! Next he would wear his socks inside out, that
  • smell would ward off the IRS trolls. I penny-pinched myself whenever I daydreamed about spending money. But sometimes I had shameful lucid dreams about impulse buying ladders and
  • angry yard gnomes and ceramic pigs. I would wake, panting and sweating. During those times, I would gaze upon the framed expired gold-card and wait for the tingle to start growing
  • in my left ventricle. I had always had heart problems, but this odd tingling popped up only recently, as did the dream. I took another Melatonin and flipped the pillow to the cool
  • setting. It was godawful hot in these pods, even with near absolute zero of deep space surrounding. Where were we anyway? "Computer. Location." *Trouble sleeping Captain? We are
  • 3 parsecs from Epsilon Bootis. Only 6 months travel left!" replied the ships computer in it's husky feminine voice. The Captain often asked her random questions, just to hear her v
  • ulva-like voice. Smooth & soft &..."Recomputing!" said the voice, disrupting Captain's fold fantasy. "Turn left for Epsilon Bootis. Turn left now." It couldn't be, thought Captain.
  • Could his swimming fantasy be coming true? Captain beamed down to a boutique, disappointed. If he couldn't have his fantasy, he would have to...BECOME his fantasy. To be cont'd.
Started
2012-03-18 12:12:32
Finished
2013-02-28 12:44:59

8 Comments

  1. Avatar

    49erFaithful Feb 28 2013 @ 12:50

    PurpleProf - reminds me of a review a friend of mine gave at a wine tasting party I hosted. He said it seduced his uvula. One can only imagine what a vulva-like voice would have done to his uvula. I also recall that he slept on our couch that night.
  2. Avatar

    lucielucie Feb 28 2013 @ 13:36

    Yours talks, PurpleProf? You're so talented!
  3. Avatar

    PurpleProf Feb 28 2013 @ 14:37

    I may be pushing 50, but oh yeah, mine still talks. Mine is multi-lingual. Would be fun to see Vulva Voice appear again.
  4. Avatar

    lucielucie Feb 28 2013 @ 17:00

    Nuff said :-)
  5. Avatar

    Zetawilk Mar 01 2013 @ 00:44

    Hey, if Spam Baby got through.
  6. Avatar

    SlimWhitman Mar 01 2013 @ 13:32

    "...I also recall that he slept on our couch that night. " That definitely fits with the rest of the story. By the way, PurpleProf, you might be interested in talking to this fellow... http://foldingstory.com/74u5q/8uz7yz/
  7. Avatar

    PurpleProf Mar 01 2013 @ 15:55

    :) If it is possible for one to hear multiple voices in one's head, then why would it not be possible for voices to exist in other parts of one's anatomy? Hmmmmm???
  8. Avatar

    Zetawilk Mar 01 2013 @ 17:27

    I wrote a collaborative story exactly like that about six years ago, PurpleProf. The Toils of Our Hands. I miss story9000.org. I miss the whole /ambiance/ of the internet back ten or fifteen years ago. FoldingStory's the closest slice I have of that mysticism.

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