I'm sitting in the Rose & Crown. It's busy

  • I'm sitting in the Rose & Crown. It's busy so I've got time to sneak in a fold. Oh no... Josh from work has spotted me & he's coming over. Will I have time to finish or will Josh

  • leap into his Josh-isms, like "Love is just propinquity with sex thrown in. Let's throw in the sex." I'll haul my iPad and chips to the lady's room, to safety!, and fold in peace.

  • At least that was the plan. But when I entered the lady's room something was wrong. I didn't enter a bathroom, I had crossed some time door which sent me all the way back to

  • a parallel univere in 1978. There he was, my dad, just about to buy a soilent green burger that would erase all human life in my universe. I had one chance to get this right or

  • else the future as I knew it would be doomed. Under my disguise, I tapped on my dad's shoulder to distract him while Jen replaced the burger. "Hello, would you be interested in

  • ,um, some fries to go with that big juicy burger you got there?" I pointed at my dad's plate while Jen scurried around the corner. Dad looked down, confused as to why there were no

  • odles, and no fries. Dad yelled out, "Jen, get back in here!" He'd assumed my sis had made the swap while he ogled his big juicy burger, but I had very nimble fingers and

  • when Dad turned his head, I switched out the burger with a realistic substitute.It almost seemed as if the entire universe sighed in relief. He wasn't my real dad. I knew that now.

  • He was just another imposter, thinking he could be as good as the real thing, much like the burger. It made me sick and I realized I needed to get rid of him for good.

  • So I hatched a devious scheme, waited for the perfect opportunity and executed said plan to perfection. I am now enlightened from encumbrances. The rest, as they say, is his story.



  1. lucielucie Jan 08 2014 @ 18:17

    I kind of lose track of what's getting swapped on dad's plate.

  2. 49erFaithful Jan 08 2014 @ 18:59

    It's like Three Card Monty but with a burger. Or 'Find The Lady' if you're across the pond, which was also being played in this story.

  3. PurpleProf Jan 08 2014 @ 19:49

    Jen switched the burger while "I" distracted Dad, then "I" distracted Dad from seeing what Jen had done by pointing to his plate, THEN when Dad turned his head to call Jen back in, "I" switched it again. I don't really know why, though. Why the need for the third switch?

  4. lucielucie Jan 09 2014 @ 13:51

    Thanks for clarifying. Also, I don't want to be picky but Josh from work has never said anything like that ever.

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!