Tuesday book store from a parallel universe

  • Tuesday book store from a parallel universe popped into existence near work. I went in to peruse their wares, books such as Salmon Rustie's "The Slavonic Purses", "The Unbearable

  • Stench" by Monica Lewinsky and "How to make blend Mexican food" by Ban Ki-moon. I asked the owner of the parallel universe book store how much for the books. "An arm and an ear

  • would suffice, or you could just give me forty bucks." After some careful consideration, I decided on the latter. I might need all three sets of arms and legs at some point in the

  • web in order to catch & bind my prey. I handed over the 40 bucks & got the arms & legs. Then I just sat there smirking, watching him struggle to get out of my web. 2 days went by

  • but I didn't notice it because I am a spider. You see, to spider's there is no such thing as time. All we have is the present moment. We live in the now. That's why we don't worry.

  • I am a goat and I have a goat god. Being always gender neutral, we believe She is aNAn. From aNAn, came all waters that go down the waterspout to wash the spiders out, out out out.

  • "Out! Out- damned spotted spiders!" bleated aNAn the gender-generic goat god as she beat the arachnids with a slotted spoon haphazardly taped to her horns. That is why we worship

  • goat cheese. aNAn protected all the villagers from spiders everywhere so long as they continued to eat her salty strong goat cheese. But one day a village wouldn't. She

  • Was forced to take the salty strong goat cheese to her grandmother's, where it was cooked in soup with brown rice. That house has not had spiders ever since that wonderful supper.

  • And aren't we all glad for that. It has made visits to grandmother a whole lot easier, what with the lack of shrieks. Family get together soon are a lot less entertaining though.



  1. Woab Oct 07 2016 @ 13:28

    Salmon and spiders and goats, oh my!

Want to leave a comment?

Sign up!