I've been told that Jefforama's farts can

I've been told that Jefforama's farts can smell like rainforest hummus mixed with wet tar, or fresh converse soles, 3 day old cloths hamper, natto on steaming rice, Aunt Valetta's

dragon breath, fermented fish & skunk cabbage stew, rotten eggs, and wet dog mixed with ozone. See, when Jefforama goes insane in the methane, there's no escaping it.

Jefforama was the creator of the Ice Age. Jefforama is what killed the dinosaurs. And if we don't stop eating fast food, I fear Jefforama's fourth coming will be soon. I must

inform the general public by standing at a busy road intersection with a loud speaker. In this way I will prepare mankind for Jefforama. The end is nigh. Although we cannot avoid

the imminent Endtimes, we can make them more enjoyable by following a few safety rules. 1) Always adhere to fashion trends; 2) No liquor before 7 a.m.; 3) Come-ons should be

typed or written on sheets of card stock 4" x 8" or larger and delivered to the recipient by a disinterested 3rd party. 4) When dancing in the streets, stay close to the curb.

5.) If you have to for to eat turtle heart monkey brain soup, don't spill it on your shoes. 5.) If you ever meet a man named Steve in California, you must kill him using only a

hammer 5.) If it turns out your wife is also dating an alien, you must declare war on alien kind 5.) If anyone ever punches you, there is only one correct response:

Take Maxwell's silver hammer and make sure that they are dead. If the police arrest you, you must become amouse and run into the little hole in the wall where you can safely hide!