"Give us 200 or 000!" he chanted, holding

"Give us 200 or 000!" he chanted, holding a sign that said "Need 20 More". "Dude, you're an idiot," someone else told him. "Just learn to abbreviate your posts. It's not difficu

and the man fell through the ice. Cracks like lightening bolts shot out through the lake. They fell into the icy water. Within minutes their bodies fell to the bottom like

a floatie made by Acme. One of them tried to swim up and cling to a chunk of ice, but the head of a large grandmother leaned in and chewed the ice to a fine powder. The lake was

fridgid and another few minutes in the water would ensure hypothermia and a painful death. The grandmother seal seemed to be smiling and planning her next meal. Her baby began

to play with its grey coat and ride wavelets, further and further form the cave. After a fortnight the young seal gained the courage to lay on the beach and strip bare. Beneath she

was almost like any other seal. Shiny fur, long whiskers and sharp teeth. Only the big gash on her back reminded her of the jetski accident.

She could no longer be a carefree seal as before; the emotional scars from the accident would not allow her to trust anyone anymore, even the man standing before her right now.

The seal screamed in horror as the man reached toward her, but when she felt his gentle touch, she opened her eyes again. He wore a kindly, reassuring smile, and she slowly warmed

up the kettle so as not to alarm him or cause undue discomfort. When he was properly boiled they enjoyed him with some fava beans and a nice chianti.