Ahhhh, that was it. After the 5th beer I

Ahhhh, that was it. After the 5th beer I felt balanced. 6 and I was high. 4 and I was low. 5 was it. I decided

she'd find out I had no money. Then a big Norwegian woman dropped a 20 on the floor neat the bar stool. Maybe I could buy a drink for the chick at the end of the bar if

the Norwegian would get out of the way. But he was as big as an ox and loaded so I let him buy me a "few" round of drinks. I don't remember that night, but I woke with a crushed

ego. Noone had ever managed to drink me under the table before. It was a defining moment. I realized there would always be someone who could hold more liquor than me and joined AA

. Unfortunately, I stumbled into an Australians' Abroad meeting, a promotional group for the land down under. They handed me a Foster's and a vegemite sandwich. I tried to explain

that I preferred Bud, and they could shove their Vegemite where the sun don't shine. I also told them that Kiwis where much better looking than aussies, and

Swedish girls beat the both of them. I left feeling real proud of myself, having insulted their beer and women, and I was totally unprepared for the chair that smacked me across

the shins, knocking me flat on my face. "Damn Swedish girls," I muttered under my breath, brushing myself off and standing up, not feeling so proud anymore. Soon, I finally

realized I could never compete with the Swedish Tanning Team, but maybe we could have fun playing Canasta under patio lights, and I could invite some fireflies from the woods.