Ahhhh, that was it. After the 5th beer I

Ahhhh, that was it. After the 5th beer I felt balanced. 6 and I was high. 4 and I was low. 5 was it. I decided

actually talk to the girl at the end of the bar. She had long dark hair that made waves down to the middle of her back. She had been looking at me all night but I was too scared

she'd find out I had no money. Then a big Norwegian woman dropped a 20 on the floor neat the bar stool. Maybe I could buy a drink for the chick at the end of the bar if

the Norwegian would get out of the way. But he was as big as an ox and loaded so I let him buy me a "few" round of drinks. I don't remember that night, but I woke with a crushed

ego. Noone had ever managed to drink me under the table before. It was a defining moment. I realized there would always be someone who could hold more liquor than me and joined AA

. Unfortunately, I stumbled into an Australians' Abroad meeting, a promotional group for the land down under. They handed me a Foster's and a vegemite sandwich. I tried to explain

that I preferred Bud, and they could shove their Vegemite where the sun don't shine. I also told them that Kiwis where much better looking than aussies, and

Swedish girls beat the both of them. I left feeling real proud of myself, having insulted their beer and women, and I was totally unprepared for the chair that smacked me across

the shins, knocking me flat on my face. "Damn Swedish girls," I muttered under my breath, brushing myself off and standing up, not feeling so proud anymore. Soon, I finally