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"What did I say about electronic devices?"

  • "What did I say about electronic devices?" "Just checking the score, ma'am... ah, we're ahead by four. And while I'm online, I'll update my blog..." As the plane spiraled downward,
  • Steve Jobs awoke from a restful nap in first class. The plane had dipped to a 80 degree angle. "Someone must have left their IPad on." he pondered. He leapt into action.
  • Steve activated the iChute app on his iPhone and did a graceful dive out of the plane. "I love technology!" he yelled, but then looked down at his phone...BUFFERING... No parachute
  • pants for Steve, heck no. He was a Hammer Pants guy. Like two bunches of curtains wrapped around his thighs. As he fell from the plane he opened iHammer Pants and WHOOOMP
  • --nothing! His iHammer pants weren't getting a signal. Maybe the pants had a virus. Hurtling downward, at 15,000 ft. in the air he suddenly thought of how the pants might save him:
  • He shouted, "Hyaaah!" His hammer pants ballooned outwards, slowing his 15k ft. descent to a steady crawl. All that Zelda Skyward Sword was paying off! But getting to land would
  • be a prickly problem. He landed in a Saguaro cactus deflating his hammer pants and his Zelda fantasy. The pain was all too real and his Wii controller useless.
  • Tried as he might, he couldn't extract himself from his saguaro-punctured hammer pants. Now pantless, he tried hitching a ride back to El Paso. A car finally slowed. It was Zelda.
  • "I don't normally give rides to strangers" Zelda rasped, "but I'll make an exception in your case, being pantless n all." "To El Paso and step on it," he shouted, "I need anti-cact
  • deficiency meds!" Lets be honest, I liked the fact that he had no mas pantalones. We drove 4 hours, &wound up in Valpo. Damn I knew I should've taken that left turn at albuquerque.
Started
2011-08-28 21:32:31
Finished
2013-03-22 13:00:04

2 Comments

  1. Avatar

    PurpleProf Mar 22 2013 @ 20:48

    Things I like about this story: (1) that "Hyaaah!" must have been the secret word to inflate the hammer pants, (2) the "WHOOOMP" sound effect, and (3) the fact that Zelda "rasped"...among other things.
  2. Avatar

    lucielucie Mar 23 2013 @ 10:44

    I'm glad there was a 'back door' into his iHammer pants.

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