Finished Folds (1—20)
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4It turns out that all of the afterlifes were in the same big plaza, and that the only way to be damned to hell is to hop on the train that offers to let you cut ahead in line. Styx
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4Lady Gaga strode down the red carpet in a dress made entirely of live babies clinging to her pale, nude body. Little did she know.
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6Agent Robinson was gasping for breath as he tried to stand, and I used the opportunity to do the sensible thing and shoot him. He crumpled on the floor, and I was free to proceed
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9He finally slid off his jacket and began to unclasp the intricate lock that kept his pants buttoned. I should have known adultery with a locksmith would be a painfully slow affair.
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4Forty years of service, and this is how it ends; facedown in a ditch. Lewie Zappa had always been a harsh man, but leaving behind his best man (me, not Frank, screw frank) would be
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5Johnny had only one answer to this; it feels great. Without money to pay off hit debts, the man in a pg pen would have to just stay stuck as he was.
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6My bet had paid off. With the sun overhead, there were no shadows for my pursuers to hide. I strode out to confront them. "It seems that the tables have turned! Or clocks, rather."
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4, which was pretty lucky considering that I had actually written in an answer rather than take part in a test comprised of trick questions. Once I was there, the pallid man folded
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9I made alphabetical lists of the sins of the first world, beginning with 'avarice' and ending with 'zebra porn'. For the remaining thirty pages, I gave a brief biography of myself.
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4"L-look-"he stuttered, throwing a jacket over his lap, "I'm just trying to meet people, like you asked me to!" Her face was very disappointed, but
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3The day before my hot dog stand exploded, I had been thinking about selling the thing and getting into portable bagels. I could offer cream cheese, salmon, or just butter. But,
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3Eating only lentils for six years is actually pretty good for the guts, or so my doctor told me when I was finally released from observation. It was the protein sauce that had swol
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6I was having an argument with my map when she put her downy hand on my shoulder and informed me that I was disrupting the other hikers. "Why can't you follow the path like us," she
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8If you squint and peer between the shutters of the old shop on 23rd and Corbil, you can see endless rows of records. From bebop to Mozart to unnatural static, the store had carried
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6My brother was returning from deployment on mars and needed a ride. My wife had told me that I was kindly offering, no matter what I said. So here I was, standing in the lunar rain
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4rubbishy thing was removed from the scene, restoring tranquility and order. The clouds, slowly, began to clear up, and all introspection ceased. One foot in front of the other,
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3a bunch of fakes, but they were always supportive of his efforts. He had trouble finding such a simultaneously uplifting and vacuous source of companionship elsewhere. So he was
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4sandwich geometry and the lyrics of entanglement physics, as though he had any understanding of what he was saying. Sometimes, one must choke a snitch, and this was such a time.
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1, they stick things up their noses and run poop on the walls. And that's without giving them any sugar. If one of them gets a jar open, it's the end of the world. Not this kid, he
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3I would draw attention to the case of Ottoman Sherwood, who was forced to stand in line far too long at his local grocer. His assailant, per se, was a woman