28 Folds
-
1
goop from Gwyneth Paltrow. Her PR team were a little apprehensive at first, but the prospect of an old witch hexing them was convincing enough to push it through the mainstream. -
3
petticoat over and breathlessly replied. "Apologies Doctor... High Victorian society requires one to display the proper and prim mannerisms of a lady." Dr.Who chuckled lightly.
-
2
McDonald's Ice cream. Many a folk pray that they can sink their teeth into delicious creamy coldness, but often times the machine itself is broken. That's why Daddy had a plan.
-
4
in a publisher's workshop. Josef smiled wryly, his muslces flexing and bulging underneath his thin Deli Apron. "You think I became an expert Deli craftsman by sitting on my ass?"
-
2
nothingness of unoriginal ideas. The story has an antagonist? Make him reveal his dastardly plan to the young hero so that he may foil it. How original. Or UN-original rather.
-
3
Lorna waited and waited, but Ian just wouldn't look. Finally, fed up with his inaction, she swung the clarinet high and brought it crashing down on Ian's skull. There. That knocked
-
3
deafening mantra repeated itself in my head. "Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire!" This was my own doing. My burden to carry for the life of lies I embraced. "No, I did not eat your cake."
-
5
an emerald. A spicy snot emerald. The snot rock's multifaceted sides shone brightly under the light of the sun. So bright in fact, it attracted the attention of archaeologists.
-
6
ate his chitin soup. Damned Romulans couldn't even cook properly, yet they had the gall to invade half the cosmos? Enough is enough, Sanjo decided. If someone would conquer the
-
6
Mom gasped out of the monstrous french kiss and spoke cheerfully. "Son, this is your new step-father, I want you to get along OK?" Unbelievable. An ancient evil was my step-dad?
-
3
Father Cheese had blessed the communion of rats while the squirrels watched from above. "It's a shame," remarked one squirrel to another, "they won't live past 5..." "5 years? No,
-
3
, blissfully sleeping in your arms in the afterglow of passion? Have you ever truly lived if you haven't? I suspect not. Go, enjoy your drab and Jessie-less life.
-
7
the zombie pigeons that had been trailing my girlfriend. Their guano was enough to repel even the hungriest of zombies. I had to find a way to stop them or my dreams of conquest
-
6
offended, and gingerly touched her bottom. I felt bad after, and offered her a bottomless drink - her choice (friendly smile and all (gets 'em every time)). She took me up on my
-
2
next game starts in 15 minutes." The dealer finally passed away as they looked on solemnly. Suddenly, he jumped up wide awake, "Welcome to Zombie Baccarat." the undead dealer said.
-
5
bowl of soup. That's right, I'm the soup imp. You may call me "simp" if it makes it easier for you. My favourite is chicken soup (shocker) but I'm partial to cream of mushroom too.
-
6
Her eyes darted rapidly, looking for an escape or exit. The man continued, "Please don't run... I get so lonely." he mumbled as he took out a jar of peanut butter.
-
2
clues?" Veronica asked. "Uh yea, thats why I'm telling you we need to follow these tracks" Evan said. Veronica chose to ignore him once again, refusing to believe those tracks were
-
5
"By God" the police commissioner whispered, "it's a double homicide." Immediately, 7 squad cars under the guise of pizza delivery drivers raced to the location of the call. A woman
-
3
eliminate the weakest link. By that, we mean the worst performer in the team." Everyone looked at Barry, yet no one knew what to say. He'd been here the longest, almost 99 years,