7 Folds
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5
factor in just how smug the working class had become; for most, ignorance was (and still is) bliss. Can you hear the tacit roar of engineered mind control in the deafening air? -
3
all-you-can-eat night at Cicci’s pizza: red meat on the walls & floor. Poor Fogley never knew what hit him. Twenty-seven shots from an assault rifle registered to Felix the Cat.
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4
Aqua Velva on the rocks. When the fire truck came, Pa was fully aflame. Barney Rubble, the fire chief, cried, “Wet T-shirt contest!” and turned his hose on Ma, knocking her down.
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1
heard them sing the Mighty Mouse theme song (poorly) inside the Section 411 restroom at the Pig-shit Bowl, where people in shorts chase after a greased, motorized, squealing pig.
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1
the whole thing turned into a bloodbath. It’s all there on YouTube to see if you need to see it. I’m sure they’ll make a movie before years end. Just in time for the Oscars.
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5
“And that, My Hairy Friend…”, He patted the dog’s head, “…is when I got off crack, used the G. I. Bill to study at Big Al’s Greasy Spoon Diner, and started my career in fast food”.
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2
“If you flush that manifest down the drain, you’ll interfere with the Spacetime Continuum”, Spanky screamed. Judith turned a queer eye, “What?” “Oh, My Darlin’,” Alfalfa crooned.
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7
I’ve been authoring this story for six years, and I don’t know where to begin. I wish a chemist would create a pill for writer’s block; something like Text-Lax, or Word Softener.
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7
Groot adjusted his jock strap, scratching the crowned jewels in the process, and shouted, “Rocket, there isn’t a damned thing filthier than you in my pocket!” So endeth the fable.
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4
& what amazing penthouses they were. Wes & Xavier could sit on their roof & watch surfers hang ten, & down on their first-floor bedrooms, they could watch Great Whites eat surfers
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5
realize that the priests at Saint Bernard’s smelled like virgin cheese, and cheese was only ready for consumption by sea turtles when it smelled like sweaty, stinky cub scout feet.
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3
And that, my jolly friends, is why the other reindeer never let Rudolph join in any reindeer games. Alcoholism made his NOSE RED. The whole foggy Christmas Eve story was bullshit
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3
was that everything must be fashioned from spandex & polyester. Yes, the days of cotton & linen were gone forever, locked up somewhere within a cedar chest filled with mothballs.
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4
suddenly morphed into a pay-per-view pornographic cooking show complete with biscuits, bagels and tutus. Kelsey Grammar challenged Rob Lowe to a sex tape one off, winner take all
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2
the poop go after you flush? I pondered. I flushed a gps tracking device down the toilet and followed it to this place, but in some way, I blacked out and I don’t know where I am.
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3
big with their song I Want a Gnu Drug. Billy Joel found himself in a Gnu York State of Mind; the Eagles told the story of the Gnu Kid in Town. The Gnu literary revival lives on!
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5
able fixings, and holiday bake sales. Just once, Ricky wanted to win the “I Will Survive” bowling tournament at the RHC without anybody’s help. He didn’t win, but he died trying.
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3
by one, falling like gnats trapped inside a zapper light; some of them reduced to a dusting of shadowy ash. Her silent prayer had been heard and answered; she had no more enemies.
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2
to earn my master’s degree in bullshittery, I had to creep into their bedchamber, at night, while they snort and fart, and set free bed bugs coated in itching powder on the sheets.
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4
“Mary walked one mile, at high noon, totally naked, to get to her house; once inside, she immediately got dressed.” John’s declaration made Detective Manatee shift anxiously.