Finished Folds (161—180)
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2There was only one way to find out. I dropped a chicken nugget into the food. It grew wings and squawked off the table. There was no doubt about it: Big Bob's lunch had been poison
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9"The hell is this?" Jim spluttered, eyes on the sheet of paper. His lab partner said, "Isn't this good enough for our project?" "No. No. You wrote a story about amoebas! We'll fail
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3literally. Nick's head would hang by a thread of muscle, and blood would drip all over the office. This was his version of "rain", and his co-workers hated it more than the "cloud"
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2"Mini-me shall be born from these ashes!" With that, he promptly fell off the stage, where he was carted away by helpful fans. Those who'd been there wondered at his prophecy
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2laughed at my pitiful lunch. "WE have a strawberry-jam-covered Galapagos turtle," the swimmers sneered. Tears rolled down my face. Would anything be enough for them?
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1to the room through the wall. Janis and the vampire clutched each other in horror. The Kool-Aid man's surgery had replaced his Kool-Aid with acid, and he was beginning to drip on
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3lue from a human to purify my grandmother from sin, so please hold still while I get the bonesaw." He ran from the teller, screaming, "What kind of mickey mouse bank IS this?! I
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3after he was done marinating in his own fruit juices. It was a matter of holding out until then so that they could dig into his tender fruit flesh with the gusto it deserved.
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5Ours wasn't a typical lesbian love story, but few love stories are typical when they start the way ours did: in a burning building, surrounded by velociraptors and
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4was spotlessly clean, but there was a stain on his heart that could never be erased. He threw down the sponge and collapsed to the floor in tears. "Sheila...professor...why?"
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7no woman could resist his charms, but he'd forgotten to factor in that not every woman was straight. When he asked Emily out, she said, "Um, can you not tell I'm gay?" Herb had nev
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4However, there is a sphere of red light whom I can...tolerate. With their red and my white, together we'd have beautiful pink children. Besides, I must pass my greatness on
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7. It was a HUGE and REAL unicorn, and the assembled watchers were open-mouthed with shock that anyone would callously rip it apart. Oscar stopped laughing, horrified at Jack's rage
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4It was awkward to watch my fiancee and my dad, but they'd performed the Eyeball Bonding Ritual by melding their retinas to each other, so I had no say in it. As a step-mom, Mel
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3. Inspired to inflict their terrible poetry on the world. Fred and Bob stumbled out of the cabin at midnight, wine-sodden and poem-drunk. "Nevermore!" Bob cackled. Fred burst into
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3shall be a Roman senator. I'm frightened I may act anachronistically and therefore be executed. Did the Romans burn witches? Tell me, Diary, or I shall collapse into despair.
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3-shaped handbags, which were the latest in Notting Hill. Maps in hand, the Italians frowned at where Brit politicians performed dangerous stunts off Big Ben. What a strange country
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5Claus, Santa Claus' younger sister. But Sata Claus'd received offers before. She hung up on Quirly Quinn. "Damn telemarketers," she muttered to Rudolph, who wagged his tail and bar
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3half-brother. Even if he's a gopher." She breathed heavily at me, her eyebrows hanging by a thread from where her brother had clawed them off in his dying moments. Would she forgiv
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4I'll hit you with this rocket launcher," said the alternate-universe version of Santa. Imaginary Friend 867.3 got so dismayed they rounded down to just 867. It made me sad to see.