Finished Folds (21—40)
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4They all gasped as it appeared in front of Mr Plant - not a stairway to heaven, but an elevator to hell. He stopped strumming. "Well," he said. "That didn't exactly go as I plant."
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4a slice of strawberry cheesecake. It helped him focus. Okay, all he had to do was set a trap for the labradoodle bomber..."What do labradoodle bombers like?" Det. Buddy asked his
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4Affronted by my lawyer's criticism of his grooming habits, the judge declared that I was "guilty as hell, dude". Faced with jailtime, I had to confess. "Your Honor, I'm your father
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6throat, the other half eaten by a marauding macaw in his youth. But he was off on another tangent, another analogy. "I've always said love is like a glass of prune juice...
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4toenails. "Moist," he whispered, savoring the feeling of uttering the world's grossest word. She spilled the bottle on him in disgust, encasing him in Hawaiian Orchid forevermore.
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10Solution? Make Porky Pig sausages. He'll have a harder time glaring at you when he's reduced to several juicy rashers of bacon. The only thing that makes it better is
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5In this broken dystopia, a hero emerged. The Cat Burglar had one goal: liberate cat videos from the monopoly of Internet giants. She declared, "Cat videos are a right!
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4hit them when I let them in & as a final act of jerkhattery sacrificed them for the Jerkhattery Engine, my engine powered by acts of douchiness. No more fossil fuels, just
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2"Mom, dad, we know you're out here," my sister said as we snuck around our backyard armed with AK-47s. They'd escaped out the window, but they couldn't've gone far. We'd catch them
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4a mild-mannered baker. By night, a vicious vigilante. Apple-Pie Man's name was whispered by criminals everywhere, always with an undercurrent of fear. Crime rates dropped
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1try this new product, the Rich Husband Attractor!" the salesperson finished, presenting the bottle to Mary. Mary looked at it thoughtfully. If she bought this, she could
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5he kept putting off their union with paper-thin excuses. "Sorry, gotta iron my dog." "Sorry, gotta save Gotham." "Sorry, gotta timetravel to kill my grandma." She'd had enough. She
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5Grandma's Apple Pie Recipe: -2 cups sugar -5 apples -1 tbsp salt -4 tsp sugar -1 cup flour -1 cup brussel sprouts -5 rashers of bacon -1 lock of orphan's hair -1 cup toenails
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4I wept. Even though I was now the newest maggoty vessel for Satan, Mom still thought I was her beautiful boy. "Thanks, mom," I commented on the photo, hoping my gratitude seeped
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2"It smells like piss," Jack said disgustedly. "Well," Martha said, hiding her hands in her apron, "it might smell that way, but I swear it's good." "But what IS this?" "It's
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4from Shawshank totally flopped. He couldn't very well tunnel through the prison wall at night when he had...other things to do then. One day the warden said to him
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2Why wasn't she helping? It was only as I choked to death, my vision blurred, that I got my answer. "Revenge for the time you peed on the carpet," she whispered. And I died.
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5legumes for dinner. "Everyone knows legumes are a dessert," Matty said acidly. Even though my mom cried, I was still madly in love with Matty. Everything she said was true. She was
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4to share his mom's legumes with the poor souls at his college who hadn't tried them. And so Marty declared February 30 to be National Marty's Mom's Legumes Day, much to the chagrin
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5." Filled with existential despair, I pulled my clothes back on and walked away from her. She was right. Life was too short to strip in public, so what could I do? Perhaps I could