2 Folds
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, giving rise to a horrendous army of mice on magic rugs heading towards Rome in quest of food. "The rice is cast", Julius Cheddar proclaimed as he swiftly set paw to -
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Me seven days to program all that and now look at it. Oh well", He sighed as he went on to install Universe 2.0. Then the Godputer crashed.
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"Stevie, goddamnit!" Mrs. Fisher yelled, "Now we have to save the city of Rooster from all the mayo!" She took her purple cape and ran into the saucy crowd. Steve threw a fit.
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be able to provide genuine high quality devices the audience will adore. Plus, I like Banana's logo. At least it doesn't have a bite in it. So I hopped in my Apple car to visit
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take care of those pretty molars." She turned toward the drill rack. I wasn't looking, but I was pretty sure she slipped on something. After a sickening crack, I called out, "Doc?"
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their cute puppy was actually a werewolf? They were so happy. But someone had to break it to them - the full moon was right around the corner. On Monday, when Isko and Suzie were
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wrecking ball came... well, wrecking in, and Miley woke screaming. "Shit, I'm late for the wedding." Jumping out, she accidentally headbutted the shelf and drowned in the toilet.
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was going to have to do it for now. My phantom limb syndrome was killing me. I went to the old birch and started hacking out my artificial calves. My once again wasted wife lay on
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. He enjoyed it at first, but then he started choking on the tail because he couldn't down it. I used a pair of pliers to pull it out, but with the tail came my cat's liver.
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placed a super-cooled container filled with my exes' hearts to instantaneously freeze the water and prevent the hole from sloshing to a close. Kraken-san proceeded to dip his toes
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The psychiatrist fell silent for a while. "I see..." she finally spoke in a sympathetic tone. "You said your brother used to draw penises on your face. How did that make you feel?"
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beach bloated up like a damn humpback whale, except they have fur and stink. "That's it", I decided when the thermometer rose past the 95 degree mark, "I'm going back to Idaho."
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she had an aversion toward his grandmother's seventy-year-old tablecloth, but keeping paint in her lady bits was outrageous! She then sat dormant, whimpering at the full moon
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for his dad who spent a full year and a half at the Bamboo Rehab Center, where they became buddies. The panda wanted to improve, but the hard time coach was giving him made him so
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ck to contact an exorcist and bring him a chainsaw ASAP. "This devil's spawn is gonna get what it deserves", he thought, watching the bulge under his skin move up his thigh toward
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hastily picked it up and started reading in anticipation. Was it an old recipe? A treasure map maybe? "Son, now that I'm gone, you should know that behind the fireplace is a chest
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for help, nor a properly working phone. The pressure of the applied wedgie bent his brand new iPhone, and his hands were stuck in the entangled basketball net. He hung, waiting
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going from his chin to the temple, resembling a greasy barbecue fork burn. The host clearly wasn't how he appears on television, but the contestant gulped and prepared for the next
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cloud engulfed the people, spreading an eerie roar that reverberated through the small prairie town and into the mountains. The smell of her gas was no better and the first corpse
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d. Alone, he started thinking about how cool having a time machine would be. Ted imagined getting back at his ex for having an affair with the gardener. Alas, he was no brainiac