2 Folds
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It was actually fairly easy to smuggle the blood out, because security was very lax. In fact, it was just one old guy with macular degeneration. Quetzalcoatl demanded a steady -
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a Sugar Smacks Talking Tie Clip, and his favorite, the Lucky Charms Spiked Brass Knuckles. The last toy had led to several lawsuits, and had quickly been recalled. But he still
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she declined. She was on Gwyneth Paltrow's bacon, chickpea, and carrot juice detox. She said it had changed her life. She blew her nose on her sleeve and thanked us, then
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He bent down to untie a sneaker, then chucked it at my bedroom window. It cracked the glass and bounced off the roof as it fell to the ground. I jumped back. He grinned, pulling
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He had, but not for the reason she suspected. He secretly led a weekly self-empowerment class for these "working girls" of Missoula. He hadn't told Janice, because, frankly,
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with my elbows. The second graders in my charge didn't seem to mind; the girls were having loud conversations about whose hair was the shiniest, the boys, bouncing in their seats,
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The abandoned script later became inspiration for the plot of Sex & the City 2. The anti-teen drug use message was replaced with dozens of scenes about Samantha's hormone creams,
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he was speaking in tongues. He was filled with the Holy Spirit, and it made his nipples rock hard. But his "friends" thought he was a fraud. So they set fire to his house and
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It wasn't my fault, my parents assured me. Our neighbors were simply too normal, too boring to appreciate our unique gifts. But we had to move. We were not wanted. I tried to
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brought a "Field and Stream" along. John was an avid hunter. Geese mainly. His phone's ringtone was even a goose call. As he sat in the cramped Porta-potty, his pocket squawked
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when I reached the end of his list and made the final Jump, I found myself spinning into an endless void. I tried to scream, but I had forgotten how. There is only darkness now.
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chalk it up to her appreciation of David Lynch films. She was passionate, I'd give her that. And she knew how to make a great shepherd's pie. A shame, then, that Sally's massive
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blowhard conservative senators and red-state pastors with perfectly Aquanetted hair. Their bloodlust knew no end. Their leader was a muscled leather daddy with a mean streak who
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rules, regulations, or common sense. She stroked his massive chin, the gray whiskers tickling her fingers. "Sugartits, lemme tell you a story." The candle flickered, casting
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crying and locked herself in the hotel bathroom. We were married in Vegas, and had planned to spend two weeks here. I probably should have waited to spill the beans about my
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I was a bit of a klutz. Especially when my mind was preoccupied, as it was now. I picked up the pieces of broken glass and unplugged the lamp. Wandering into the kitchen, I
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somehow complemented her many tattoos. The scar ran from the space between her left pinky and ring finger across to the inside of her wrist. She wore thick glasses and spoke with
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"ZOMBIE PONIES: RAINBOWGEDDON: THE MOVIE: 3D" had just been given the go-ahead. They just needed a edgy, up-and-coming, family-friendly director to helm the project. They found
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Then she called Dr. Rosen and scheduled an appointment for Friday. On Thursday, she was hit by a Greyhound bus on her way to an audition. She was killed instantly.
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worn a Canadian tuxedo. I demand to know who did this! I've never even been to Amsterdam, and I've definitely never patronized that sort of establishment. Gentlemen, I