1 Folds
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turned down the lights, turned up the heat, took off my snow shoveling gear and sniffed -
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tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue. All of the French men I have known have been especially appreciative of this talent. Plus, I can make a particularly delectable
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attractive if it killed me. I didn't realize at the time that my feigned affection for this woman would actually bring me to death's door. After ingesting a near-fatal mix of
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the idea of doing good for a change. A wise man once said that even the longest journey begins with a single step. Plus, he knew that the way to a woman's heart was through her
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the seductive scent of his Cool Water cologne wafting over me as he pressed me up against the wall of the alley, our bodies intertwined in a knot of passion. And then the noise of
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I whispered. "Remember what the doctor said about your spleen. No sudden movements, no gluten, and definitely no
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the fact that the name a person says the most in his lifetime is his own. What happened to compassion and community? Why is it that kids these days
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tattoos. The last thing I can clearly recall is talking to a tall, dark and handsome man at the bar. He was a pilot, I think. He told me that most airline pilots never
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But with those words, I became immune to her charms. How dare she call me red? Ever since the kids at the back of the bus made fun of me for my rosacea, my knee jerk reaction is
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he still felt a twinge of guilt every time he reached across the counter for the wad of cash from an unsuspecting customer. These people had no way of knowing that
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eased himself out of the bed, trying not to wake the long-legged beauty next to him. He gathered up his things and tiptoed out, not realizing he had left his
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that despite his greying temples, forest of chest hair and voice as deep as Johnny Cash, he had peed himself. Now he
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that repeated warning did not prevent him from starting his day with a face splattered with
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porn starring his parents. The age old question of whether you would rather watch porn WITH your parents or STARRING
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of remedies. Had he paid attention during health class instead of staring at Melanie, he might
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had once again made hippos dance and teapots talk. In situations like this, the best thing to do is
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At least that's what I've always done to get rid of bad luck. And that trick has worked every time but one. The time I
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clotted or soured -- was the source of both his agony and his ecstasy. But forgetting that for a brief moment, he took
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Carpe diem. In search of liquid courage, I opened a Narragansett tall boy and drained the can in two gulps. Time to
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rang. I was saved. I threw my backpack over my shoulder, avoided the anemic gaze of Ms. Bliss and bolted out into