As the motorcade passed, John remembered

As the motorcade passed, John remembered a line from an old song about an outlaw who ended up in Cleveland,

and his sudden demise @ the hands of a grave robbing gang. For once, John thought, he'd lose his affinity for

smearing smoked fish on the dismembered bodies of rabid elephants. He wasn't exactly an adept fetishist, but he did enjoy what he enjoyed, much to the chagrin of his

psychotherapist, who was charging him a flat rate. Still, he had to do something with the crates of peanut butter in his basement, and he was beginning to like

the idea of doing good for a change. A wise man once said that even the longest journey begins with a single step. Plus, he knew that the way to a woman's heart was through her

closet. The more pieces of silk and satin you gift her, the more she'll want to give in return. So here I am about to begin a journey with my plastic in hand, hoping for

a place that takes credit cards. So I headed to my nearest Malmart for some silk sheets and a satin teddy. The checkout clerk gave me a funny look that seemed

misleading and almost hysterical. She scoffed, biting her tongue so the rude words didn't slip out of her mouth. I guess she couldn't help it 'cuz she said

"Thou errant unwash'd rumpfed rabbit-sucker!" How dare she insult me so? I pondered insulting her back, but the moment slipped away and by the time I thought of something clever

the sun had faded, my tattered gown was no longer and the smell of corn husk rose from the earth.