0 Folds
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to shut the heck up. It worked, and with the dollar he bought a lottery ticket. The lottery ticket won and he now lives in Barbados, where he owns a mansion and a menagerie of -
7
of destruction, trampling everyone. The scene the next day was that of pachyderm-meted carnage, with flattened bodies everywhere. It was not until the summer of 1976 that things
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McNulty from the Wire, who needs to make extra money now his police career is over. He's basically smiling and wearing a spotty bikini in every shot, the calendar selling only to
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As predicted, Wong was not too happy, and threw me into a well as punishment. There I stayed for nearly 700 years, sobbing gently to myself, until the happy day I was rescued by a
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atop a giraffe and do a wee 19.) Buy each other a huge pizza and ride them down a steep hill. 20.) Write saucy poems to each other on the side of catamarans. 21.) Send each other
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grew out of every orafice, and I mean every one. Yes. Even that one. They went to a doctor, who was too scared to treat them, so instead they had to go to a back street dentist, wh
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He would never know, because that night he was killed by Ninjas. I bet you're wondering why? Well I'll tell you. One day in late September 1976, Squamous went to a Japanese market
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to be most satisfactory," I said, licking pepperoni from my matted, cheese-soaked beard. Suddenly Richard Simmons actually sped in on a Jet Ski. What are the chances? "Hey, Ricky!"
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but decided not to reference the popular Internet meme. Life's too short. Instead I let off a small firework, which came to the ground with a disappointing fizz, alarming a passing
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about the forbidden ORANGE?". Mr Snake shook his head. Matlock laughed and ate the evil citrus, immediately plunging the Garden of Eden into a mire of sin, filled with sweaty naked
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, grabbing a nearby burrito and rubbing it into Betty's face. It was at this point they realised the pointlessness of their feud, and decided instead to go to a disco, run by a
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g sap from my face. She stormed off to her Plant Rights meeting, where she and friends lobbied for equal rights for vegetation. We divorced soon after, citing tree murder. Later we
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was shaped like Donald Trump's head. It didn't sell, so she ended up giving it away to a orphanage, who used it as a kind of punishment for naughty children, who were forced to
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"Ronnie," I squealed. "How come you're a cockroach now?". "I met a hard of hearing genie." "Wow, what did you really wish for?". He was reticent about this. So we went to Starbucks
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"Ow," said Lancelot. "That bloody hurt". "Sorry!". Lancelot hailed a cab and took himself to Knight Hospital, where he was patched up and sent back to the Crusades. But something
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a beard made of crisps. "I'm reading a catalogue of spare parts for a Ford Mondeo. I found it in the bin". She wasn't particularly impressed, but did like the beard, and whispered
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to record a video with shock rockers Slipknot. Godzilla had to wear a mask to join the band, and ended up wearing a Godzilla mask. How they all laughed! After the shoot they went
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In the dying days of World War II Hitler sat in his bunker eating a boiled egg. Suddenly a time traveller appeared from nowhere and pointed a gun at him "Hitler", he said "My name
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Good old Wilma! As a reward we took her to see a film. It was one of those comedies with Meg Ryan. She wasn't impressed and decided to have a dirty protest, which was bad because
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screamed as she realised she's not only drawn blood, but that her blood was green, and she'd actually been replaced by an alien clone and never knew. This was tough to take in, and