Finished Folds (41—57)
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1giant piece of flypaper. But even seeing them stuck to the paper and moaning for brains, I couldn't kill them and I just threw it in the bin. Hope the garbage man wears gloves.
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1How else would I get the rarest and most sought-after of all Pokemon, the adorable Zombeepy? Wait--I could inject MYSELF with this virus! There is no way this plan could go wrong!
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4find acceptance by blowing up everything I'm not sure, but it just goes to show, man love + explosions = ratings hit. That's why I pitched my TV series idea, which I liked to call
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5when I can't update my Twitter with my deep, longing poetry in 140 characters or less. I was keying my latest masterpiece into my smartphone when a shadow fell over me; it was
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0with no cigarettes left Britain's older generations revolted, triggering a shift in world power. After, the new global government was comprised entirely of gay men. "BAWWW" said
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2With everyone in the room unable to run with their legs crossed in sympathy, I knew it was time to begin the operation. I whipped out my flare gun and shot it into the air, and
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3But I only found out about the vibrator when I bit into Steve's delicious rump and it chipped my front teeth! How did I explain this to my health insurance? Well, you see...
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6Hank the dragon-boyfriend, unaware that her depression was due to his explosive halitosis, tried spicing up their sex life by putting an ad in the personals: 'knight 4 3some fun'
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2"Maybe you shouldn't waste your story bitching then." With that I awoke in a hospital bed. I'd traveled back in time. I have a chance to make this story right! I
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5Luckily, he'd diagnosed himself on WebMD as well. His skin turning green and scaly and his acidic pee burning through porcelain wasn't omega-3 deficiency; it was simply a case of
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2an infinite number of tiny red cars carrying an infinite number of clowns honking simultaneously. The resulting black hole, after eons of silence, gave birth to an universe that
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2a great white shark from the homicidal bikini model attempting to choke him to death with her own body. Hasselhoff threw a stray limb over his shoulder and bellowed...
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3It was bliss, until my ears got stuck in the handles. I sneezed and both jugs fell, spilling down my back and soaking my shirt. With stark horror, I realised they were filled with
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0I leaned into Shantae even as the muzzle of her gun pressed against my ribs, and my lips brushed her ear when I whispered, "How many millimeters is six inches, anyway?"
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2wrap each pant around my forehead and tape the skateboard against my crotch. With my legs akimbo I leap at the nearest railing for the sweetest grind of my life, only to find that
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1"I told you to take the waist in! How else do you expect me to carry my noodles without pockets?" The tailor apologised profusely as he began taking his measurements with a
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1The relaxant combined with a freak undiscovered manufacturing fault within the mattress meant that when it folded in half, my limbs tangled. I resembled a pretzel. I could only