Finished Folds (501—520)
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3truck enthusiastically, ready for an honest day of work. The 3 girls dropped the laborers off and made for the mall. When they returned, Juan, Eduardo, and Jose had built a mansion
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5the leftover pudding in the fridge and held it threateningly. "Take this!" Vlad gazed at the dripping slab of meat. "Really, Dr. Darcy? Hey thanks, that's a nice cut!" Dyslexia had
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4uncle got his damned JD from that Ivy League cesspool. All it took was garbage bags filled with cash! And it was counterfeit." Clan McProud scowled at the bald maiden. "You lied
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4us from the Inner Conspiracy with a tangled nexus of cosmetic pseudo-ploys. Zuck thought for a second. "Wait...you're dead, Jobs." A moment of dramatic silence. "Only in body and
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1Ivy stumbled onto the stage weeping and fell into the comedian's arms. "Mr. Benny," she sobbed,"can you bring Lux back from the Great Beyond?" Jack looked at Harry again. Harry
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7Thor sat on the asteroid that had once been a part of a Danish island. "Well, crap," he moaned. Earth was now floating rubble due to his temper, and the sun seemed to be dimming
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5weapons, they are surprisingly effective. Behold! The underestimated two-handed construction paper broadsword!" Grandma raised the weapon above her head and sliced clean through
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6nothing husband's forehead, mistaking it for the front door. "Is Evelyn home?" I asked snidely, looking over his shoulder. His wife was in the backyard, squatting beneath a bull
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3escape from the Facebook Marketing Authority. Old Nick was becoming a bit of a leftie, Mrs Claus lamented, having gradually sloughed off his early Objectivist leanings. The elves
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5can produce localized time anomalies in the subspace continuum, which may result in l) spontaneous The Next Generation episodes materializing in which m) Wesley Crusher, Teenage
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5I had profit-loss projections for the enterprise devised in a complex of intricate Excel worksheets. He was surprised I could recite The Story of the Eye with my ankles behind my
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3Around to Relativity and Quantum Mechanics. I was having none of it, Steady State was I, committed, the Fred Hoyle statue in my garden had cost me a bundle. "Change my fate?"
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6Their cries rhymed. Everything about them rhymed. Their attire, their perfume, their makeup, their breasts. Brandi & Candi, pornography and poetry entwined. They began barking, and
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1Activating the weapon, I was disappointed to discover that it was bent. This paled, however, in comparison to realizing that I was not in fact wielding a lightsaber. The young man
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7to be evidence of a superior intellect and character and immediately submitted to my every whim. "Replace my garbage disposal," I commanded. She obeyed, and did excellent work.
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2"You know what torques me? That you can't unlike. I mean, say some damned folder gets on your s-list, and you want to unlike every contribution of theirs you've liked? What then?"
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6-e coated in ghee. The blobjacks were astonishingly delish; through some culinary miracle, there was enough to feed an army. Word spread quickly. We were invaded that evening.
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5Completing Complete Guides, and aren't about to drop another cent. Dear Editor: But it's a really good improvement. Dear Sir: Do you comprehend English? No. Non. Nyet. Dear Editor:
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7in a Dutch resort; in Amsterdam, he was introduced to legalized narcotics. He began sticking that probing finger into hashish confections. Frankly, I preferred his workaholism.
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6TAKE A LONG WALK OF A SHORT PIER! I JUST WANT TO BUBBLE BATH IN AN ACTIVE VOLCANO! I JUST WANT TO STOP SCREAMING AND TAKE POSITIVE LIFE ACTION. Stop. Catch breath. Inhale ether.