Finished Folds (361—380)
-
3the baby, but his wails of anguish (not from the imaginary helicopter, but from Katy Perry), brought eveyone to his aid. "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!", screamed the baby
-
2, but then he fell down. "Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!" The dragon scales rubbed him just the wrong way. "Now I'm all itchy! And my knee hurts! Waaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!!!"
-
5off with a warning, but then you'll OWE me, see? Someday I'll be calling in that favor, see? Like when my bus. assoc. Aren't playing along, see? You'll pick up my dry cleaning, rig
-
1radiation therapy and episodes of OCD, where i count to 10 over and over, each time in a separate language. The radiation was having little effect and Prof. Sting Oak worried
-
2(or was it pushed?). Hanging in mid-air by my ballooning wrist dislocated my shoulder and I forgot about the giant peach. But then some old lady flying by umbrella crashed into me
-
3ficers of the law. They think that you are just mocking them when you are only sneeze cursing and its not your fault. I know i've tried to make it up to them by polishing their
-
2...Humpty Dumpty just knew that's what everybody was thinking, but wasn't messing oneself actually disgusting? And remedied much more quickly than putting himself back together
-
4winter tomatoes. Well, DUH! Of course the winter tomatoes are crap! And none of your software-engineering wizardry will ever change that...but what if the whole salad was
-
5Then, another thought (which I guess had always been there waiting for the right moment): this smallest head contest is stupid. Drake and I shook hands and bought a B&B in Vt.
-
4a Craigslist personal ad and soon we'd decided to buy a Bed and Breakfast in Vermont. But first he would have to get out of this jam...he had some spleenin' to do.
-
1ken lane was blocking the view from the diner, but the flames peaked higher still, even with the house 1/4 mile away. "maybe we should have moved the dragon", i wondered aloud...
-
1anything, even more than the time his Chipwich from Ipswich fell in the sand at the beach. Ampersand moved in to give the pathetic thing a hug. Then he remembered.
-
3as "He came, he saw'd". As drunken hatchet accidents go, it doesn't hold a candle to the time Aunt Millie drank a fifth of Seagram's and accidentally sat on the launch button for
-
3So I vowed that I would avenge my father's death. This would rid the guilt of not having known him well. I spent 3 months plotting against the malevolence that took his life.
-
4Student out of body experiences were quite common at Mrs. Inkle's School For Astral Projection, but not nearly as common as they should be.Inkle worried about losing accreditation.
-
1Or Robbie Williams? Or Robbie Benson? Or William Roberts, for that matter. All in the Richard LaMotta club, each having his Chipwich in Ipswich, laughing it up at my expense...
-
2noose that had just missed tightening around my neck. I kept myself busy day dreaming of my next Chipwich in Ipswich. Maybe I'd also try a clam or 2. No, wait, i'm an f'in BEAR!
-
9He decided to to put his internal struggle aside for a few minutes and have a Chipwich in Ipswich. That's when he realized all his years of self questioning boiled down to
-
2et and old lace", but the mere mention of lace sent into a tizzy. He rushed into the back room and groped beneath his jeans to feel the stockings there. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
-
4he wasn't, what with the blood and all. He really didn't dress all that well, but in that millisecond that his life had flashed by during the car accident, he decided dat jumpsuits