19 Folds
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a little man with very large hands. "I can't control myself," he said to Jeff. "It's like Tourette's syndrome, only in my hands." He reached out & pinched Jane's nice, round -
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and fabulous, darlin'! I was surprised by RuPaul's gushy compliment. Suddenly, I felt pretty for the first time in my life. I turned slowly, admiring how the pink satin clung
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like pickles. Or did I? Mustard? Onions? I tried to concentrate & started from scratch: 2 slices of sourdough, a slab of... I went blank. My sandwich amnesia was probably caused by
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So, after, people laughed & pointed, jeered & booed. They threw rotten tomatoes at him & called him every name in the book. It hurt. It hurt bad. He CARED. Time for retribution.
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But then Dick showed up. Dick didn't like me. Dick was a dick, but somehow Jane couldn't see the truth. "Play with Kitty, Dick! Play, Dick, play!" My ears went back & I spat
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I sang, loudly, in the shower. "Dangling my giblets, dangling my giblets..." I used my wife's loofah to soap up my ass & then bent over to rinse. I was in a great mood because
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into the highest-scoring story in all of FoldingStory history. Juggernuts' story had everything: murder, sex, sea creatures & Asian hookers. Juggernuts knew he could count on
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had little choice but to back back into the cursed temple. He was screwed either way, but if he could at least retrieve the sacred tome, perhaps he, Dr. Cunk, could get credit for
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was a major flop. Not that it mattered to her anymore. She spent the rest of her days in bed, alone...a cigarette in one hand, bourbon in the other & her crotch burning, burning.
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I carried that message to Mrs. Klaus, along with his charred remains I'd carefully scraped into a bright foil gift bag. That's why, kids, Santa doesn't come to our house anymore.
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that was the beginning of the end. Oh no, not the end of winter. The end of their sanity and the end of this horrid tale.
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, but not rich enough. Human Lives vs. Personal Wealth. It always comes down to that, does it not? Batman sold out. The Scribbler melted into the darkness, vowing to return.
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& towards the Tattooinator 4500. Her crinkly blue eyes sparkled. "What's THIS?" she asked, rubbing her gnarly fingers over the gleaming steel. "Sorry, Granny, you're too old
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(2) drank a 6 cans of Dixie and hitched a ride to New Orleans
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elings, all bottled up inside, with nothing to do, no where to go, & no one to talk to. He sat for hours & then decided, "Hey. This complete silence is kind of nice." There was no
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cry. I'm simply beside myself! We've done it, you see? We've done it, you and I and I and I and I and I and I, and also I. Utopia has been achieved.
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led her Betty. It didn't matter to them that she smelled. As long as Betty would cook & clean for them, the dwarves were willing to overlook her Crohn's disease. One day, a prince
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enjoy it too much. You think I'm f*cked up? Yeah, I guess I am. Don't just stand there, staring at me. Give me that hammer. OK, now the burlap sack. No, don't leave! Don't leave!
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our destination. Our destination" my brother repeated. "We will arrive in Omaha in exactly 1 hour, 17 minutes, & 3, no 2 seconds." Just to mess with him, I took a sharp left onto
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She found the ghost of Jane Byrne sitting on her own tombstone, crying bitterly. "My pussy, my pussy, my poor, poor pussy!" Jane pointed a bony finger at her & said "YOU DID IT!"