27 Folds
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the start of something bigger. The jagged earth split, angry lines the fault of no underlying fault. No, not an earthquake. Roberta gasped, eyes wide in terror, as a lumbering form -
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butcher in the Exotic Meats Shoppe across town. My coworkers know to give me any rabbit carcasses that we receive. It's cathartic, skinning those bunnies that would torment me.
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a level 7 Thetan after decades of devotion to Scientology. With that next level would come the much-coveted revelation of truth! But he wouldn't stop there. He was determined to
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As his blood drained from his body, his gaze moved from the hardwood floor to the hideous wallpaper. "Either that wallpaper goes, or I do," he muttered, amusing only himself.
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My pledge of love was cut short by my own scream, then choked by the rush of gurgling blood as my lover bit a chunk of my neck. He may love me, true. But he is still a zombie.
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"It's our newest size, the Trenta!" the Starbucks barrista said with a flourish as he displayed the cup. Old news, I thought. I read my BoingBoing and heard about it last week.
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bone marrow... because they have no bones, naturally. It's a little known fact that they also have no souls, but snails DO have
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the half-empty glass of milk would cheer him up, even though it went spectacularly with his chocolate bar. No, he was bound to his misery and so, spitefully spilled the milk.
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and the movie screen. He was like many others who confessed to deep bouts of depression following his multiple viewings of "Avatar." Why couldn't real life be more like Pandora?
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It wasn't too late. Proving that we all have the power of self-reflection and change, Godzilla vowed to become a peaceful pacifist, leaving only smiles in his wake.
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using a rangetop or microwave. She had banned both from her home in an attempt to "bring rustic back." The hearth and cauldron were cumbersome, but furthered her goals to
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The Adultcon buyers were amazed. Why hadn't they thought of this before? "Luxury Porn on top of money! What about aerial sex via golden parachutes?" The meeting buzzed with
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to regale you now with my version of Alanis Morrisette's 'Ironic' which sums up my life philosophy well." The pilot began to play his guitar over the PA system to the bewildered
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find another professional gift wrapper to employ, preferably one who didn't have such strong opinions on pastel colors. Nina looked at the slammed door before rising from her seat
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his deceit was beginning to show in so many rolls of fat spreading over his body. He knew he should stop, but those McGriddles enticed him with their siren call. Let them call him
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that I'm awfully uppity for a meathead quarterback who thinks love is gay. I say a guy can have a good vocabulary and still be a homophobe. I'm living proof, afterall.
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him to no end, but then he was a high-strung type A yuppie and she was a neo-hippie. Their friends often wondered what brought the two together, being so different and all.
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So he thought and thought some more. At last, the solution struck him. (He was a bit slow.) But he was also Prince Sunshine. And the Waxen Queen was made of wax and easily melted.
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all of his hard work, he decided to break for lunch. "A footlong meatball sub would really hit the spot," he said, with a glance to the casualties. "Thanks for that suggestion!"
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Unfortunately, the only version of the dictionary to be found was written by Sarah Palin and George Bush.