"It's our newest size, the Trenta!" the Starbucks

"It's our newest size, the Trenta!" the Starbucks barrista said with a flourish as he displayed the cup. Old news, I thought. I read my BoingBoing and heard about it last week.

My kidneys ached just thinking about it. So I

lay on the gurney as the dialysis tube was inserted into my arm. Next to me was Milton, who

could only speak three words, of which only one was appropriate in the company of his mother. All day, he repeated the word

"kel-tip-zix-um, which sent him back to the fifth dimension where he found Bill Cosby eating

one of those huge submarine sandwiches . The kind he had to sneak and eat in his Cosby show and the wife always found out. He also thought he seen Captain Caveman

but that's when we knew he wasn't the real Bill Cosby. The moment incorrect grammar slipped out of his mouth and wasn't a part of a joke about his kids, we knew he was a replicant

. Of course, it could be that Bill Cosby was just a crackhead. Crackhead Bill Cosby (or replicant Bill Cosby) pulled a gun out of a pouch in his stomach (maybe he was a replicant)

but with that pouch he a Jaffa. There were a lot of them wandering around after the Stargate teams finished their genocidal wars with all other aliens. Jaffa or not, Bill

figured the kamikaze mission would have to go as planned. "Burn in hell, you damn dirty apes", he said, forcing the beaten ship's engine into maximum velocity.