5 Folds
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4
A small boy watching the execution in the front row, confused by the mix of comedy and tragedy would later say this was the moment that ruined all of his future relationships. -
4
It was a montage of past torment dangling alongside unshorn genitalia. Teachers, bullies and a weiner. Ken had seen enough, he grabbed the flasher's coat and ran into the forest
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8
But then she remembered something her great grandmother "Candy Dispenser Ver. 291" had told her one cold Thanksgiving morning. "When the money comes, give them their sweets."
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pigeon crisis of '87. Perhaps it was time to hire a marketing company to promote the mystery meat tacos that were packed and ready for distribution.
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to the next item on my lesson plan, crossing off "Life isn't Fair." It was time for, "Be careful what you wish for." I asked Bobby to make a wish. "Pick something big, kid."
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2
I could tell from the faces of my cell mates that I was the most beautiful man in block 109. I opened my homemade wings to ascend but the physics was wrong. A hobbled seraph I was
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4
taking her calls.Stuff was melting. Cameras flashed. A text came in from Brad Pitt and George Clooney, "can't make it babe, we're busy." She'd have to work on her personality now
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3
"Shaking my chicken sauce, shaking my chicken sauce..."
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1
In the officer's lounge, behind the cheese station, General Burk crawled on the floor, "turn out the lights" he said. "No shadows!" Groundhog shadow phobia had become a virus and
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1
The seating was uncomfortable and the food inedible. Still, the train to hell had departed on time. Outside, the pork investigators arrived with their missing pepperoni pics
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across the street, tripped over a Chihuahua, and was struck by a taxi advertising Personal Injury Attorneys. This was the sign that had been foretold long ago.
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in dreadful recognition of his transgression. "Perhapssss you need some senssssitivity training. " She sssaid (dang it, now I'm doing it). The HR Medusa pulled out the policy
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4
And the ancient tribe believed the photographs stole their soul, and in their faith, they died as the jeep sped past. Barney, the photographer, inherited a notorious reputation
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6
become an art dealer. Lives would be lost if he didn't interpret the Scribblers designs, but he could make some fat cash instead. Then Batman remembered, he was already rich
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5
as plagued as I was with Vertigo and claustrophobia. I came across a message, scratched into the chimney wall,"Tell Mrs. Klaus I love her....Santa." Bones below and coat above.
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4
Napoleon didn't even giggle as he whispered the words and got dressed. He had just conquered Iberia on Friday... and me, last night. I stayed in bed watching the fires outside
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skirt to let off a little steam. The enemies entrenchments were far ranging and Col Fisher thought it best to attack while he still felt pretty, before the doubts and memories
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4
I read my fortune cookie again and asked the waiter about it, "My lady took the train across the Atlantic, I hope it don't sink..." He dropped to his knees in horror and backed int
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5
Simply go the McDonald's bathroom and wash your hands. The sensor will open the Portal of Shame which has never been accessed by humans. Get ready for Sammy the horned demon
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that's what's important. Cold Mojitos served by cabana boys went a long way towards easing the guilt, but cirrhosis and STDs eroded her creativity and her next book, "Sad Cake,"