Finished Folds (301—320)
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2It was in the eyes. The iris hardened, then emptied. There was nothing left but hunger, a confusing hunger, like a racist trucker at a Chinese buffet.
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4apostrophe between the it and s, squeaking in disapproval. "You're right, mouse in my beard, the hamster in my galosh should serve hard time for his philandering
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2septum piercing and maroon vest. "Those colors" snorted the Level 16 thief. "I judge them akin to my alignment: chaotic evil." His dungeon mates snickered and sipped their Monster
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6Unbidden, Sopping Wet Joe fell to his knees. What a lovely bunch of coconuts. The fibrous exterior greeted his numbed palms as a lost lover in a haystack. Cracked lips
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2flavor packs? My friend P questions their commitment to the tune of 8-bit boss music. "Come," he gestures. The aura of invincible convincing settled on the station guard, who
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2felt deflated. But seriously, folks, it's as though someone knocked all the air out of him, a sentiment to which he valley girl-rolled his eyes, gesturing to the vacuum of space,
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2All invested parties fled the conference room as though it was flooded with mustard gas. The imitation custodian reached under his standard issue jumpsuit into the pocket of his
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3, a development that pleased purveyors of hydrogen, helium, and hope; the advent of the steampunk age was upon us, and we felt appropriately dressed.
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0My partner Fox Mulder has been saying this for years, as if wishing brought to light the crimes of the unimpeachable madmen who strode among us in the graying halls of
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1My mind raced through pop culture and classical literature to formulate an escape. As water came to a boil and spices permeated the air, I settled on making myself unappetizing, a
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1on the buses of Los Angeles. "Please, potato man, struggle with the chubby stuff next to you," I said under my breath, licking my lips with metastasized anticipation. Just when
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2Academics speak of "constructs" and "signal degradation," as if we owe gigahertz to them. What is loyalty but a chemical reaction? The tree seals the spots where it discards leaves
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2to claim the prize of absolute power and dominion over bathroom drains and motel room pillow cases. In a blind rush to find a projectile, I reached behind the dumpster and
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3and waited. Tremendous pressure greeted his bent legs. Thighs burning, not from what he had hoped, he sank further into the Groping Lotus position, which would send the wrong
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2"Different song, same words," said Jane. "You can't smooth us over with pop-country stylings this time." Paul's open arms fell to his sides. The doors he'd opened for Jane
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5authorities couldn't corral at Calgary, trap in Toronto, snare in Saskatoon. It even eluded them in Edmonton. Six months have passed, and only the most observant could have traced
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0Sloppy Opposite Day, sponsored by Manwich, maker of Manwich Misunderstandings, the wacky game of confusing commands and tomato-based stains! The parade began promptly at 10::13,
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2portions must match the style, and I instantly regretted my skinny jeans. To the unsuspecting public, I inspected the food carts at Pioneer Courthouse Square, but the real job
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4"THE NeXT tiME We MEeT YOu'LL B DiscRET" Forensics puzzled over the note, the letters exclusively cut from Redbook and Ranger Rick. A clue!
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2saloons light the neon and beckon his habit. The Pict breaks to feel the quarters in pocket and toes in shoes. He saunters forth at the intersection of