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Elliot was always unlucky at school. Not 'bad' luck, just 'unfortunate' luck. Take this morning for instance, a pigeon had artistically decorated his sports bag with it's -
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choked violently on the remains of his putrid soup, coughing up an entire fleet of minature naval vessels which had been lost in the Bermuda triangle since 1953. The ships moored
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the opportunity to re-attach several hundred skin flaps to Murray, his pet poodle, seemed like a godsend. He grasped the needle & thread, stitching like a madman - which he was -
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York, but he had explained to them that this was just too big an item to propel into orbit using only a rudimentary catapultation system. They had sagely agreed, and then requested
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and nectarine around her upper thighs. Instead of being a turn off, he ran to the secret cupboard and grabbed the vaccum cleaner. 'This,' he lisped, 'is gonna be GOOD!'. Suction
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Bomb disposal is NOT a job for the faint hearted, which was unfortunate for Cpl. Jock Sergeant, who's heart was so faint as to be transparent. On his 1st day at bomb school, he sat
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e avenues to explore! Homer & Cronus linked arms slowly melting into each other. After only two hours, all that was left of them was one gigantic fleshy intestine. Love sucks...
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thought Colonel Ashbutt. Indeed this was true, for this God forsaken place could never have been described as 'bustling'. People had described it as 'hermaphroditic', and often
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'It's a very blustery day' announced Pooh. The wind tickled across Pooh's stomach & played havoc with his duodenal ulcer which lay but inches beneath. Dr. Tigger was to perform an
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On the screen were the remnants of last nights' drunken eBay purchasing session. WHATt had I gone & bought now?!! By the look of my inbox, 67 items had been ordered, including a
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Monday is the worst day of the week for a good reason. Tuesday follows it. All day Monday you sit and squirm in the horrific knowledge that tomorrow will eventually arrive. If you
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the official referee & all of his assistants. The crowd, believing all this to be part of the show, rose to their collective feet & applauded appreciatively. The ref suffered only
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their own self inflated egos, spinning on the spot until the police arrived, toting sawn off shot guns & brandishing bottles of guava halves. This only added to the
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experimental can of home brew, and revelled in the spray of foam that drenched the inside of his windshield. 'Ah.' though Padd, still travelling at 80mph. 'That's just great...'
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the whole of London, if not the world. If only she could market it, she could make a fortune. All she needed was an endless supply. She could get friends involved perhaps? A party
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So, to make our famous recipe, we will need the following ingredients: 1 Large egg, 2kg of margarine, 1 loose woman, 4 olives, a whiff of cow dung, a healthy dollop of
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Lilith wouldn't have cared about worms, large OR small. It wasn't the worm, it was the hole that mattered. And with that, she hitched up her skirt and strode off into the night.
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an old receipt for Disney World circa 1972. Back then Mickey Mouse would gladly show off the side view of his head, something he no longer enjoys. But a Lemon Tree? Surely not..?
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As a weathergirl on a local TV station, Jenni was good. Really good. She could predict what the clouds would bring two whole weeks in advance. She once foretold that a shower of
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the first person to ever eat the scrotum of a camel live on TV, and he wouldn't be the last. As chef's go, Chef Lector was good. Too good in fact. His only issue was that