He sat there beaming at me, glowing in the

He sat there beaming at me, glowing in the dark with sweat and wide pupils. "How can you know unless you try?" I smirked, wondering how many times that line had worked.

Then I smirked again. I smirked at funerals, I smirked when getting fired, I smirked when brushing my teeth. I had the Tarantula smirking disease. I am not a smart ass but

this horrible facial tic was my curse. Do you know how hard it is to seem sincere when you are constantly giving involuntary smirks? I was pegged as an asshole.

Strangely, it made life easier for me as no one wants to have to "deal with" an ass. I went throughout most of my 20s with that label, a smirk on my face - sometimes voluntarily.

Sometimes involuntarily. There were occasions when my face froze with that smug smirk on my face, shortly after I inhaled the ass (donkey/burro) version of botox.

These treatments were strictly forbidden in the "American Triad" (Canada, USA, & Mexico). Headed straight to Poland home the world's leading researchers on Donkey/Burro Ass botox.

Along with him went a Doctor who specialised in denaturing unwanted "celebs". When asked whether it was a proper profession he meerly said " Of course it is, waste not want not eh"

Then he strapped KFed into the brain replicator and copied his thoughts and memories. When the process was complete, he threw the unconscious roob into a trash compactor. Crunch!

Examining the thoughts, he wondered what Brittany had seen in him. KFed had barely given her any space in his mind. But what's this? KFed was a werewolf? So many question answered!

That night, in his prayers, he asked for special blessings on KFed and everyone at the E! network. He would never know how well his prayers were answered.