Buff Spelunker trudged into the depths. The

Buff Spelunker trudged into the depths. The stalagmites parted, and the stalactites retracted into the ceiling, lest they be crumbled by a brush of his shoulders. An ancient para

ble was turned into a real experiment by Buff Spelunker, for he'd chained four philosophy students near the far wall of the cave so they could only watch his nightly shadow puppet

surgery. Many victims screamed, strange drippy organs were pulled out of them, the four Philosophy students tried to avert their eyes from the sick shadows. Buff Spelunker

was among the loudest screamers, which shook Emiko to the foundation of her soul. Buff was so burly & brave, now he was a hollowed corpse like the other Phi students. Coward Simon

's parents were complete whack jobs for naming their kid Coward if you ask me but he and his brother Sue proved to be the best in these situations. They dug a shallow grave

l mine, declared bankruptcy, and wrote off the entire shebang. When ur boys named Coward and Sue, you can become song characters, or u can get even. When they started running guns

for the Mexican Cartel, shit really started to go down hill. The boys (Coward & Sue) didn't expect the Persian Muff Brigade to retaliate with such territorial hostility

but retaliate they did, with a vicious onslaught of ermine grenades and a rocket-propelled rabbit that decimated their numbers. In desperation, Sue grabbed Coward by the fluffy

scruff of his gonads and whispered, "That'll teach ya." Coward learned his lesson, alright. He crawled through the rabbit corpse-strewn battlefield while Warrior Sue retrieved the

feet, dyed them strange rainbow colors, strung them from keychains, and sold them at the dollar store as good luck charms.