Dear Princess Celestia, you have thirty minutes

Dear Princess Celestia, you have thirty minutes to move your chariot, or your chariot will be crushed into a cube. Yours sincerely, the Canterlot Traffic Control.

The Traffic Control in Canterlot took their jobs seriously. If you wanted to appeal an infringement it was like hitting your head against the wall. Princess Celestia had enough

clams to make the most bodacious chowder ever! Princess Celestia

wore the prettiest clam chowder dresses, made of genuine clam shells and fringed strips of half-cooked bacon. You could smell her a mile away. One day, the dogs ate her.

And then the dogs got diarrhea, which is what she intended to happen. She wanted to be transformed, to become toxic, to enter the earth's groundwater & invest herself in humankind.

she was a superbug, she was dynaflagellated, she was 'tnt', a terratoneurotoxined harbringer of epidemic inconteninence. After being excreted she flowed into a sewer where a rat

had the epic misfortune to internalize this superbug. Once inside, the superbug liquefied the rat's insides and caused them to be forcefully shot out via each and every orifice.

"This isn't science," lamented an observing scientist, "This is torture! Didn't you say we were keeping them alive and well taken care of for future experiments! You promised me!"

The strange 3 legged egg creatures looked up at the scientist with gratitude in their 5 eyes. There were little shouts of "Hear, hear!" A bold one spoke, "Please free us from this

torture. Deliver us from horror. Save our souls!"