"What's your problem?" He snapped when we

"What's your problem?" He snapped when we entered the house. "You ruined the night just because you wanted to be a brat!" He treated me like a child, when I was a fully capable 80

0 pound brute named The Hulk. Dad was bitchin' just cuz I demolished the movie theatre after the jerk sitting in front of us refused to crop his liberty spikes so I could see the

It was his big puppy eyes that always got to me. The next thing I knew, I was on a plane to Hollywood. I had to find Adam Sandler and ask him to be my friend with benefits.

I found him in sandals with socks next to Orlando Bloom playing golf at the ninth hole. "Adam, Adam Sandler will you be my secret lover?" He looked a my huge headlights and missed

the exit. I sandwiched Adam between my crash bumper & fat tire. Then I lifted my arms to show him I'm a natural girl & he fainted.'Adam I am your Madam' I thought & hauled Sandler

into the Sierra Nevada forest. A Blue Moon had eclipsed the sun's Corona and I knew we'd never get to Mickey's if I couldn't find an Icehouse for Sandler and I to rest in.

I wanted to Tsinga out loud when Sandler spotted the oasis. "Call me the Kingfisher of Compliments, but Amstel waiting for you to tell me what a great find this is," Sandler said.

"Um...OK." I relied, glancing at Amstel who (arms crossed and arched eyebrow) was tapping his toe impatiently. "Uh...This...this is a GREAT FIND!" Sandler smiled & the oasis

firmed up as not a mirage or trick of the light. Amstel's impatience gave way to awe as the fabled Tower of Bhopet emerged in the oasis giving good karma to all who could see it.