Once upon a time, in a land far, far away,

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, it was a dark and stormy night. A door slammed and a shot rang out! The maid screamed. A pirate ship appeared on the horizon.

A fleet of pterodactyls soared over the horizon. Heavy metal guitarists road on their backs in viking helmets. The pirate ships, the guns, the unicorns. It was Awesomeness Conv

ent and the Sisters were putting on a show. It was the Woodstock of radical Catholicism. When Ninja Pope took the stage with signature cross stringed guitar

an army of Moors raided the festival in search of the holy grail. The radical Catholics (or cattle ticks) ran for cover only to find the Mongols were also wanting a fight. The Mong

olian resistance was no match for the Irish Republican Army but while the Catholics attention was diverted, the Moors stole the grail and had placed an ad in the local newspaper

asking that anyone answering to the name 'Sir Lancelot' please write to the PO Box as they had the one true Grail and it wasn't something which matched Moorish decor.

Meanwhile at Mitch's Cafe in Ardmore Oklahoma the breakfast rush wad winding down and Christy Moore was looking forward to her break so that she look at the talisman Lance had

Left her on the counter. It was a helix stone! Lance had studied alchemy under Professor Ziti at the University of Galactic Science. He knew all about its hidden powers and the

curse involved with possessing the helix stone, but its temptation of power was too much for Lance to resist. His fingers closed around it like tentacles and before he knew it, he