Empire Beauty School's "Locks For Jocks"

Empire Beauty School's "Locks For Jocks" and "Call of Beauty" recruitment campaigns led to an influx of self-proclaimed "bros" in last year's freshman class. The impact on

the amount of comb sterilizer was outrageous. There was a shortage. That's what caused the last outbreak of scalp ringworm. Giant, pussy circular ridges formed on everyone's

aura, barely visible to the naked eye, and yet tantalizing if you looked at someone edgewise. It was a real impediment to conversation, someone blathering about the weather with

he couldn't get Sheila notes after class but something was off. He could see everyone's auras in the lecture hall, colors fluctuating like mood rings. He looked at his hand. Pink.

Was this the shrooms or… Then the LSD kicked in. Everyone's auras took on geometric patterns. Why did he eat his entire stash before class? Now the peyote made the patterns become

Kaleidoscopic. He dug into his notes and used purple ink. There was no rule saying you could not use the colour of ink you wanted. It suddenly made sense.

In kaleidoscopic vision he could see that when he fixed something here an equally elegant solution appeared to issues in the various spaces kaleidoscopic vision allowed me to see.

The longer he looked the more he saw. Spiraling circles, squares and hexagons shining with an otherworldly light caught his gaze as they tumbled within the kaleidoscopic tunnel.

Then all was pain and torment. When he woke up the next day his doctor told him that he had suffered a migraine and should avoid too sugar, stress and astral travel. But he didn't.