A mouse ran from the barn as the owl swooped

The town drunk pulled from out of his tattered and malodorous vest a shiny timepiece..."I's giv em a flat minute out dare in da open wit dem crazy ass big birds." Sheila rolled up

to the scene and let out a loud scream. Sheila yelled at the drunk, "you better

check yoself before you wreck yoself fool!

Is what our teacher yelled as soon as she ran into the room. She wore Doc Martens and a spiked dog collar, we all looked at each other and wondered if we were in the right class!

"Now class," she whined in nasal tone, pulling at her spiked dog collar, "settle down and get working on your group projects!" My group got busy with our experiment. We were

really terrified that the teacher was going to make us clean the floors with toothbrushes again... Last time, we stayed after school for 4 whole hours cleaning the locker room!

But luckily, I had learned my lesson and had started bringing my pet hippo's toothbrush to school, just in case. Along with something I kept in case I ever got bored, a book on

ridiculous true stories written on Post-It Notes! These kept me entertained as I rode the bus. However, today, on my way to school, the bus had an interesting surprise! Suddenly

the driver had a massive stroke--it caused him hallucinatory flashbacks to his service in Da Nang. He crashed off a bridge abutment & 32 crazy destitute junkie prostitutes drowned.