it was a dark and cold night...

it was a dark and cold night...

in dire need of some light pollution. I pointed my strobe heat lamps skyward and basked in the destruction of the rural night. Maybe this would convince my neighbors to

participate in our year long megawatt celebration of Xmas but the feud continued. Our neighbors claimed they'd detected aliens signals with their home observatory. Our Xmas lights

were shaped like like little chanukkah candles. I tried to be proud of my mixed family's Chrismanaka. We were Jews for Jesus. But I was teased all the time.

I was teased because the Chrismanaka presents sucked. They were Chanukah presents, but more of them. But I could cast off getting socks and underwear as gifts because I am male.

Strangely I had much better luck with the Kwanzeaster feast - everyone raved about the rabbit I served, and the egg hors d'oeuvres were a smash as well.

the guests instead resorted to magic tricks. The bunny found herself stuffed inside more top hats than you could shake a wand at. Dazed and confused, she wished she had, in fact,

lived in the wild amongst other bunnies, so it wouldn't be top hats getting stuffed around here. But Mizerelda was instead known as the grumpiest Magician's bunny in the industry.

She was so grumpy,she wrote a petition to the Magician's Secret Society to ban all tophats. No tophats? No pulling of the ears! Until it's approved, she leaves 'gifts'in the hats.