Subtle fluctuations in the timeline identified

Subtle fluctuations in the timeline identified 153 Elm Lane, Scrutom, NJ, 1996, 12:53 pm as the exact time and place where

the last remaining Anduvian quartz capsule would be accidentally activated by Morty, the guy who lived next door to the Andersons. Morty wanted to know if the garage sale toaster

had a plastic flywheel. If it did he would not buy it. Morty was a serious customer. This was not his first rodeo. He walked up to the person in charge of the garage sale and

placed $200 cold hard cash on the table. Morty was furious when the Garage sale owner shook his head refusing his offer. Morty leaned across the

table and grabbed a mint from a clear glass bowl. "You're a hard case. I know the type. Well, I'm going to eat a mint every 15 seconds until you accept. It's a fair offer." Again,

the laxative effect of the sugar free mints took their toll and I forgot why or who I was threatening as my brain lost what little control they had over my bowels which exploded in

3-part harmony, much to the surprise & delight of everyone around. "Do that again!" they demanded, clapping with great gusto. I tried, just to appease them, but I just didn't have

enough hand puppets to do my one-man barbershop quartet. America had talent but all I had was two tube socks with sharpie mustaches and broken dreams.

Still, I was out on stage now & the America's Got Talent judges were looking at me expectantly. I had to perform. Something welled up in me and I let 'er rip, my sock puppets