I told the pet shop owner, I was looking

I told the pet shop owner, I was looking for something different. He showed me a terrarium with two mounds at either end. "They're war ants, quite amusing but never let them out."

Now This looked interesting. My cousin and I had been playing pranks on each other since we attended the citywide ecclesiastical camp. War Ants in his jock strap! Just thinking of

it made us want to pull into the Southern mini-mart. Later we were pulled over and arrested by the police for murder. We were innocent. My cousin was a lawyer back East, he

was really terrible. The next morning, Big Dogg Tonebone was doing the eenie-meenie-miney-moe to decide which of us would be his bitch.

But on one of Bigg Dogg's walks, his Yorkie fell into a river and was swept away. The current swept her away faster than he could run, so he quickly made a raft.

He made a raft the fastest way he knew how. He grabbed the nearest forest animal, a sleeping Kodiak, and with a grunt threw it into the river. He just had to catch up to his Yorkie

. The Kodiak awoke with a great bellow of a roar. It rose up on its hind legs and began to paw the air while slowly walking towards him. He knew this would happen.

He knew it ever since he'd hit it with the spray can long ago. He tripped over himself as he scurried away from the mighty Kodiak, who

took out a shiny steel baseball bat. You apologize for spray painting, he accepts your apology. You go home to bed and you close your eyes and relax. Time for another day.