Detlef was a typical German beer purist,

Detlef was a typical German beer purist, always spouting off about the 'Reinheitsgebot' but I was going to convert him with my batch of Holy Burning Goat Scrotum Ale.

-ed-by-my-girlfriend to go with a shot of lost-my-job and a Hot Pocket of I-don't-give-a-rip. "You should consider changing your dietary habits," my doc said. "Rye of give-a-hoot

-a-nanny-with-a-slomper-womp-of-pigmy-sweet-carrots-and-a-jackass-wallop-of-mint-jewlip-mouth-harp-spaghetti-sauce-with-use-your-noodle-scrapple." The doctor smiled because

this mirrored his own thoughts exactly. "You don't need medical assistance," the doctor laughed, slapping his patient on the back."You just need a nice long vacation. I suggest you

Go to Tahiti." He did and like Paul Gauguin he married a native and never returned. The doctor asked me one day on the street about him, and I said I didn't know. I didn't know!

Taken aback by my somewhat erratic reply, the doctor pulled out his prescription pad and wrote me a script for a higher dosage of my antipsychotic medication. "Tell him I said hi".

I grinned widely and strolled from the doctor's office. The receptionist called out to me, but I didn't stop. I had very important business to attend to, things they wouldn't get.

I walked until the doctor's office disappeared behind me. I walked further and the whole town faded on the horizon. I walked to the diner at the edge of the desert. I ordered two

sprigs of parsley and a whole roast ox. I’d worked up quite an appetite walking. Prices weren’t on the menu, and the bill came to $2760. Guess I could’ve done without the parsley.