I got a call from some shady government agency yesterday, offering me the chance to get involved in some experimental genetic procedures they were testing. I didn't realize that

The first thing I did when I got off the plane was

Cam had scratched that itch before and was forlorn that he couldn't help but go back again and again.

she made my evening alone at home more bearable. Just thinking, no fantasizing about her made my lonely life not so bad. I would lie in bed and think of..

"Your topic is 'Brachyhypopomus pinnicaudatus' and your time begins now."

This

As if in a trance, I steered my shopping cart into the strange gloom of Aisle 11. Moments later, a small smoky demon chomped on my leg then handed me its business card before it

The headless horseman settled down for the night. His pumpkin head had turned several days back and was stinking up the hotel. It was about time to carve another, but this time

I fumbled and dropped my last remaining clip. I'd never been good at reloading in a hurry, and the growing stench of piss was only making me more nervous - particularly due to

In our family, there was no clear line between religion and fly fishing. We lived at the junction of great trout rivers in Tasmania and our father was a drunk and a

Unmoving, remote, inscrutable, The Man in the Woods would sometimes startle various hikers as they passed his way and left either spooked or frustrated at his nonresponsiveness. O

Mildred was hitching East destination New England, wearing a tight little button up sweater,a racy skirt exposing some knee & penny loafers when Joe pulled up in his Buick Electra

Some scenes that may have led to this decision to stop the telefilm include the portrayal of shirtless men talking in

The best thing about shelled peanuts is the mystery. Will it be a burnt one? Extra salty? Shriveled? Two regular ones? Or that pinnacle of legume evolution: the TRIPLE. Mmm God is

Piotr, Pedro, Peder, Peter...none of these rhymed with psychopath, but that's the first thing Pete thought of when he said his own name. Was it his fault he had a talent for

A sharp pain flew through my toe., or at least where my toe used to be. It has been 10 years since I lost it and still can't believe it happened . My mother would laugh if she knew

"You're not going out looking like that," she told her husband. He assessed his appearance: yellow duckie inner tube, clown shoes, bermuda jumpsuit, and

the best is KajaGooGoo Dolls. There Goes My Too Shy Hero

"I'm sorry, Mr and Mrs MacKenzie, but your child will always be a little outside of time, and nothing to be done about it. I'm a poet, too, you know, but there's no money in it."

There were qualities about the woman that only he could see. She never wore makeup, yet looked amazing in the morning without effort. Her smile lit a table, but not a room.