...You are five miles from your destination. Please take "The Yellow Brick Road" at the next exit. Continue for 2 miles until you reach the "Enchanted Forest." Witch Detour Ahead.

I have the hardest time understanding why my one hand is an exact mirror image of my other hand. How did my right hand know what my left hand was doing?

Daddo, Jimmy told me thaa-aat Sss-aanta (gulp) iisn't for ree-eal. Tu-tell hu-him, Dadd-o... tttu-tell him th-hat's nuh-not tu-TRUE!

The three little pigs decided it was time to come out of the closet and tell everyone the truth. They'd been living as "roommates" for years but in reality they were

The hibernation genie started the backwards lullaby. Commander Antpi relaxed. There was a long journey ahead of him through the Isolar Solar Tunnel and he needed

Once upon a time, there was no time. It came later, but it was late. Time marches on and waits for no man; however, for a woman, time stands still until she is ready.

A bat can do enough friendly good however I just k

Then Clarence Darrow let his suspenders crack against his chest. Like a slap against the whole courtroom. Mopped his head and screamed,"What the HELL is a "Money-Money?" I ask you

"OH YEEEEESSSS!" said the portly Comic Con fan, as he approached a hairy Princess Leah look-alike. "I've got them moob's like Jabba... you wanna touch my belly?"

Sometimes, as you go along in life, you come to a time when you realise that all you have achieved, all that seems to matter so much, is but a speck of dust in the immensity of

Smoke my Gouda!

I took a bus for Seoul on Friday.

The Squid children rolled on the floor laughing. "That's the dumbest story you ever told! You're teasing us!" Giant Old Squid Man's eyes twinkled again."OK, let me tell you another

Crap. She's standing directly under the mistletoe. Crap. She saw me see her standing under the mistletoe. Crap. She just winked at me over her shoulder. Crap. Where's the

In this new universe, entropy decreased slightly with time. You could leave the dishes dirty and if you waited long enough, they'd become clean. Consequently, society had become

The full moon rose like the anger in my soul. Tonight was the night. I checked my bag. Everything was there: a rope, spray paint, a pig heart and the voodoo doll. My neighbor was

I'd been hitchiking for days, but I couldn't stop 'til I got there. My thumb was cramped, but I kept it extended until finally a truck stopped. "Won't you take me to Funkytown?"

And I found myself behind the wheel of a large automobile, living in a beautiful house with a beautiful wife, and I asked myself how did I get here? Oh yeah, I just had to

Along came a shaggy dog with a small kitten in its mouth.

One day was enough for the mission. But general was much tensed, he ordered us to complete it within seven days. It was a hot topic among us, something was bothering our general.