Investment poodle futures bottomed out but the rest of my canine portfolio was doing well. I advised my clientele Afghan options were about to spike. My insider "Deep Paws"

der var engang en mand.

Now place the two rafters sideways on the ground and insert the

I would feel better if the knife butchering me was worth more. I know you got it from the bargain shelf, because you can't afford to spend a mere $1000 for a diamond encrusted one.

I was deep in meditation, surrounded by bamboo and tweet tweet birdsong. Just prior to reaching samadhi a rabid panda bites me in the ass. I achieve enlightenment but as a half

I have the most unbelievable rash.

NASA says its GPS satellites show that maps are going to have to be redrawn.

I always considered Star Trek and Star Wars to be Science Fantasy (where the mere trappings of technology are used in place of magic wands, flaming swords, potions and spells).

I unwrapped the gift. It was a small chip for the back of my neck. It would monitor my location, when I slept, what food I ate and how often I exercised. "Why thanks, hon."

I come from a distant corner of the universe, having traveled many cycles of time in order to find you. And now that we are finally face to face, I would like to share with you a

At the supermarket my mother handed me a bag of rambutans even though she was on a 'no rambutan' diet. I decided I wasn't going to be a party to her rule breaking so I

" When in Romania: A Story of Love and Immortality" Doug rolled his eyes. He was getting sick and tired of all these vampire books. Moreover, that the world was a string of sequals

Who actually came up with this website? Are people really supposed to sit at home and finish stranger's stories that they've made up off the top of their head? Oh my gosh, I am !

Hobbes&Calvin's unconditional love for each other touched her every morning.How they where always there for each other no matter what,how day to day stuff woldn't break their bond,

"The almighty dollar vs. the Almighty" read the marquee. How US currency got top billing over the Lord is a question

My lawyer handed me the bill. "You owe $400.00." Suddenly, I realized I was in a dream and that I didn't owe him a damn cent." "Here's a fluffy bunny instead. See ya."

He was sweating again. It happened all the time now. Every time he used his Power, it poured off his forehead and down his nose, dripping onto her face. "Why'd you name it 'Power'?

A troll, a mole, and Dave Grohl walk into a Chinese restaurant. They sit at separate tables and each orders 5 courses. Who ordered the chicken fingers?

You live across the street. You have no neck. A man on a motorcycle visits infrequently. You are blonde, but clearly not having more fun. Hunchback mama please

"Tell me it again. This time with more detail." The beekeeper needed to know everything he could about the attack before he went to the meeting. If a piece of information was lost,