Pancho mindlessly flipped through the channels, unable to focus on any of the daytime programming he came upon. He was thinking of that paper airplane, the one that had killed

One day after school, I decided to take a lunch break at Mcdoonalds. When I got there I saw that everything was quite normal as I waited patiently in line until...

I contemplated the idea of Karma for a half second until a flying crowbar crashed through my windshield and awakened me again. I took another deep breath and slammed the stick in

He'd spent three hours constructing shapes in the sand that extruded out so that the sun's shadow would create his proposal. Her face filled with horror. The tidal wave behind him

It was doomed from the start. He liked Joy Division and Nick Cave, she liked Celine Dion and Susan Boyle. I'm not gonna say someone was right and someone was wrong, but, well,

I'd lifted the lid of the outhouse toilet seat everytime I used it, looking for scorpions and their ilk. Why the hell did I concede to this vacation in a log cabin? A paw appeared

My Grandma had a tail and ate insects, my mother told me when I was six. I wondered why she wore the dresses she did and kept her own bee colonies. We never lacked honey.

"Fiddlesticks!" said Bob, reaching for the medical kit. He had just slammed a nail into the palm of his hand while trying to do 'his own handiwork' as Susan had suggested.

These Easy tips will guarantee a happy life, no matter the size of your wife. Tip 1: Always thank the cashier at the grocery store. Tip 2: Never apologize. Tip 3. Wear socks Tip 4

The soft fuzziness of her golden brown mohair jumper filled my every thought. The richness of her silver-gold tresses invaded my dreams. The smile of her eyes made me

"If he gets elected, we're trashed!" said Oscar & ran the smear ad: '10 reasons I'd rather have Big Bird for president than Mitt Romney' 1) Big Bird is a Golden Condor, Mitt is a

I looked over at my friend's PB&J with the crusts cut off. Then I looked down again at my quinoa and kale patty with spicy remoulade. Why

Help! I'm a mole!

"What a tewwible waxident!" sighed the Inspector, shaking his head, as the liquified remains of a million candles lapped around his fastidiously polished brogues.

Sally the oral street walker was also an entrepreneur! She hated the taste of condoms so she invented her own, they were pink and peppermint flavored. She called them Condom-mints

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I wanted to take my dearly beloved and cut 1 inch deep cuts all over her body. I would then rip out her bladder, with my own bare hands, and fill each slice with her own urine.

"Hey Toby, have you been hangin' out with hookers in Missoula?", She asked him point blank.

Talk about a bus load of trouble. This animal strolls up, enters and sits down with all the other passengers like it's a

Squawkers, everyone's favorite parakeet, hit a dark time in his life when puberty hit. His voice was changing & people would make fun, calling him squeakers. He needed to prove his