Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to right. Here I am stuck in the middle with you. When you started off with nothing & your proud your a self made man & your fans they all come

As Bob sat in Church, he counted on his fingers how many of the Ten Commandments he was breaking. "Let's see, I'm coveting Dave's wife, and all of her goods. And I'm about to steal

"Call me Fowzella the Fierce. No, call me Ingrid Widdershins. Wait... Nadia... erm... Fine. I'm Jenny. I'm an aspiring time travel travel detective, but I've failed all the exams.

All meinen Schmerz ertränke ich in Küssen. All mein Geheimnis trag ich wie ein Kind. Ich bin ein Blatt, zu früh vom Baum gerissen. Ob alle Liebenden so einsam sind?

'Look at the size of that' cried Stephen pointing at the matchbox sized spider in the bath. Little did he know that the spider had just cried exactly the same thing in Arachnish...

Claire sat in class, hoping, wondering, a possibility lurking in her mind people would join in on her story. She sighed as she pulled out a gun and held it in the air.

When the boyfriend found the skid marks on his girl's lingerie he was overcome with a deluge of

Dr. Larchmont ran a 1960s Spirogram through the app. Sounded like a Scottish guy. "Mind the vowel sounds," it said. No! I thought. This can't be! Stevenson's advice had been hidden

Joshua refused to take the FCAT test. Even at the age of three he knew that verbiage was a tool of distortion and control. He looked through the people of earth and of other worlds

Philip the fanatic decided to take a stroll down Hilltop Blvd. He was looking for a good, steep hill to preform the ultimate bike stunt. After 15 min of searching, he found a great

I could tell that she knew that he knew a thing or two about making stew with leftover Mountain Dew. Code Red

I'm sure I've mentioned watching the whales fight the UFOs from my houseboat and what happened in the kitchen, so that one won't do. Pulling faces at a museum comes to mind. Susan

The clock's intention's were pure. He had merely accelerated his hands as a kind of gear workout. But in doing so, he inadvertently fast-forwarded everyone's lives. Luckily, TiVo

Monsieur Herault wanted a distinctive fragrance all his own so he commissioned Hermes. Little known to M. Herault, the ingredients included poodle musk. On his daily visit to Gardi

The tiny box under the tree was wrapped in gold foil paper &a cute lil' bow. It had my name on it. "Go on," said Ted. "Open it!" I tore into the package, sure that this year, Ted

Which seat can I take? It's Friday, Friday Gotta get down on Friday Everybody's lookin' forward to the weekend! Tomorrow is Saturday And Sunday comes afterwards, I don't want this

One day in mid- April, I walked out with my meat cleaver in my bag. It was accidentsl, but it did stop some thug on the red line from stealing my phone! I left it at home afterward

As I listened to the pop song for the hundred and twenty-second time, the lyrics finally began to make sense to me. I understood its message at last. The end is near! An apocalypse

"I haven't finished with you yet", said the rag to the furniture polish, in that titilating kind of way that only fabric can.

"Finally! With this atom powered invention no one will ever burn their tongue or the roof of their mouth on hot pizza again!" Exclaimed the scientist.