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Mary J was born this way. With long, scraggly gray hair, kaleidoscope eyes, and a birthmark on her bum resembling Bob Marley, the obstetrician had never seen a newborn like her.

"And the nominations are.... Invasion of the Bee Girls, The Brave Little Toaster, and

Lasers have built a sand castle in my dying room. It got hit by lightning and became a glass castle, inside of which I now reside. Its geometries allow only one movement: sideways.

"Ik ben een bannan!" "No you aren't. You are not a banana." This is the conversation I overheard at the airport and this is why I decided to learn Dutch.

The ninja killed him, slashing brutally across his chest. He had no chance. The samurai guardsmen came running, yelling "Intruder in the castle!" but it was too late, he was gone.

The next time Smiley Gyrus appeared on TV, Dad shot the television, just as he said he would. "I will not have that smut broadcast into our home. Son, your internet is conditional:

Valetta was a hidden ruby amongst the jetsam of womankind. She was a whore in the bedroom, a cook in the kitchen & something else somewhere else... fill in the gaps yourself. Men w

Alter one iota of your destiny and someone named wish might just encounter you. I found this out once while holding a cardboard sign outside the Fred Myer on Hawthorne Street. This

#Peter After careful consideration Jan & I have agreed that it is best for our mental disambiguation to accept a subconscious disembodied disentanglement.

Don Pasquale de la Conejo lived in his Vila on the edge of Oidoflojo. His Great grandfather began the tradition of hiding golden eggs each spring as homage to his deceased wife,

Father finished off his port & espresso, stretched & yawned, and grasped the table with both hands. "Dinner's over, kids. Now leave Daddy alone. It's folding time."

The guilt clock is leaking time away.

Archer, Alice Alexis Ann, aimed an arrow at adolescent actress and amazing acrobat, Amy Allybob Absalom. But Billy Baxter Buttercup, brilliant brave boyfriend blocked

"I think they are out to get me." "How can you tell?" "There is all this 'whispering' behind my back." "Well, you do work at a library."

I was sitting across the aisle & saw the whole thing. My hero Jackie Chan (on my flight!) had a bit much to drink & got irate when the lummox in front of him leaned his seat back

My god, I didn't think it was real!

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Good morning gentlemen, as you all probably know we are gathered here today to pay our respects to our dear leader, James Jameson McJames III, who sadly passed away due to his

Hi slept in a sleeping bag mounted to the wall and his alarm went off at a random time. He dranks his tang and ate his tootsies. It was all part of his regiment.