The Sacred Shroud of Turin provides enough DNA to sample the complete genetic sequence of Jesus Christ. A scientist attempts to clone Jesus, if the Vatican allows him so.

I've been told that Jefforama's farts can smell like rainforest hummus mixed with wet tar, or fresh converse soles, 3 day old cloths hamper, natto on steaming rice, Aunt Valetta's

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was the time of our lives, timely yet timeless... peacetime was our pastime, but sometimes it's past springtime.

He inherited the cryogenic deep freeze business from his dad in the late teens. It was a pretty easy until the great drought of 2017. With rolling brown outs, the dead were

A burger contains a little piece of dozens of cows. It's like when olde-timey hostage-takers would send you a finger in the mail to assert their dominance, except I'm hungry and

After the Nurikabe failed, Jen tired a more traditional means of protecting cheese puffs: burying them underground. "Digging through tile is tough," she said, clutching a rusty

Simon wondered when he should tell his date about his vestigial tail. Rarely did the topic come up naturally in conversation. Over the years he had learned it was better not to

The sun is shining

Voiceover: “Are you one of the tens of tens who suffer from Phantom Mustache Syndrome?” Alex Trebek, listening, air-grabbed Wheat Thins crumbs from his upper lip. “PMS threatens

And now is the time for the uncomfortable questions. Is retarded a bad word? Is hand-washing requisite after #1? Is it pandering for 'likes' if you 'like' a fold you don't like?

"Our soup of the day is sour neck in a hyperglycemic broth. Any takers?" I grabbed my daughter and bolted. They should serve American food in Transylvania. Tourists deserve

As I gardened, gazing towards the autumnal sky, I longed to run my finger through the trail of mucus left by a single speckled slug – innocuously thrusting past my rhododendrons –

Walking down the street one day, I met a total stranger. I asked him 'what he wanted to be', and he said, "Stranger! Danger!"

Niamh was sitting in a bookshop in Islington waiting for her son to choose something when she saw the celebrity, Newt Long slip a copy of 'Why Men Marry Bitches' under his jacket!

Five out of ten women

as the baby Murphy the elephant roamed through the plaines with his mother, he wondered when dad would come home. he was tired & hungry. why did dad have to leave during the move.

Ralph's parents watched their 20 year old son play with building blocks. Earlier he explained he was making a castle. Ralph's parents thought their son was a loser.

Some feelings are so strong that you cannot put them into words. One of my memories of this type of feeling was when me and my best friend, Lilly, were hanging out in

Humphrey was a whale.

Then Adam said, "Wait a minute. If we had no knowledge of good and evil, then how could we have known that disobeying God was wrong?" God had to think about that. What he needed